On the Other Side
by LadyPoetica
Summary: Gaara was lost at the age of six but, in another world he became a normal boy, hit by a car. Memories gone, Justin Tuner lives with his adopted family and is even on a basketball team, but strange things are happening. The voice 'Mother' in his head that calls him 'Gaara', a gourd, and more sand than he can deal with, force him to find his lost past and face his demons. Literally.
1. My Name is Justin Tuner

_ I don't remember much from my old life, bits of beige colored buildings and a sky so blue it was almost too blue. I have a few more memories from before the accident but said that I really shouldn't focus on it. I guess I should introduce myself; my name is Justin, Justin Tuner. I'm seventeen years old, the middle child of the Tuner's , and their only adopted son. My mother is Mary Tuner and my father is Henry Tuner, who has two more children, my older brother William and my younger sister Sara. All of us together created a very normal family, mundane even, truthfully. _

The shill sound of a bedside alarm-clock was always the first thing to go off in Justin's room every day signaling that it was five-thirty in the morning. The next sound was that of a deep groan. In the bed next to the alarm-clock, Justin rolled over, stretching and cracking his body as he attempted to arise from his bed and get ready for the day.

"Justin?" A knock at the door asked, "Are you awake?"

Justin turned his glazed eyes over to the door and sat up, trying to remember the dream that he had just had. Every morning it was like this, he remembers some weird scene but nothing other than that, try as he might.

"Justin! Are you up?"

"I'm up Mom!" He called out to the woman on the other side of the door. Justin pulled himself out of bed and proceeded to throw some dirty clothes off the floor, attempting to find one clean uniform in the never-ending, clustered piles that covered a large part of his bedroom floor and found a pair of slacks. Sniffing them, he decided that they didn't give off too much of a funky smell before slipping them on and buttoning them around his hips.

"How on earth can you find anything in here?"

Justin turned to his Mother, who had just attempted to open his door against a towering wave of laundry. She handed Justin a white button up shirt, still warm from a drying cycle.

"So, what's on tap for today?" Her smile warming up her face.

"School" Justin shrugged, pulling the shirt over his head not bothering to tuck it into his pants before grabbing a jacket too.

"Well I know that" Mary Tuner's eyes sparked as the beginnings of laugh lines appeared. She shook her head that the sleepy teen, "Do you have practice today?"

"Ya, coach is calling us right after school until about six, can I have the car?" Justin looked hopeful at the idea, but that was quickly dashed as Mrs. Tuner walked down the hall grinning to herself, "you're so silly Justin."

"I wasn't joking?" He tried after she had already descended the stairs. God I hate these uniforms. Justin checked himself out in his mirror, tugging at his trousers at trying to straighten some of the wrinkles.

Justin had always been rather dissatisfied with his appearance for it always reminded him that he was different. The Tuner family on his father's side had dark brown hair, almost black, that both his siblings inherited. His father and sister both had brown eyes, the color of coffee beans, while his mother shared her eyes with her eldest son, a vibrant hazel.

Justin on the other hand looked nothing like his family, which in a way was expected seeing as he was adopted. Hair the color of cherry licorice seemed too red to be real against skin that was paler than sour milk. It wasn't that he hadn't tried to get a healthy tan, in fact he spent many days during the summer holidays burning underneath the sun, but his skin always peeled and returned to its natural color. Perhaps the most unnerving part of his appearance though was his eyes which where the color of faded jade encircled by dark rings to which everyone attributed to his chronic insomnia , although something at the back of his mind told him it was probably just genetic. The last thing that bothered him about his appearance was the scar that was etched on the left side of his forehead. At first his parents thought it was just an odd-looking scar but as they would soon find out after an eventful afternoon at their favorite farmers market, it was actually a word in Japanese, the word for love. Soon after being informed of that, Justin had come to the decision that he didn't want to meet his birth family , fearing what kind of people would carve the word for love into their child's forehead. In other words , Justin didn't like his appearance because it was just too much, too extreme and too weird to be normal. That was the exact opposite of what he wanted to be . He had enough strange in his life already.

"Breakfast!" His mother's voice resonated as the smell of blueberry waffles wafted up to his room.

"WAFFLES!" a little girl squealed, pigtails bouncing up and down. Sara pushed ahead of Justin who had started to make his way down stairs.

It was going to be a long day, Justin could tell.

"And so if I call you out, raise your hand and I'll toss you a candy "

Justin's head shot up at the mention of sweets that his teacher was handing out. This is why Justin studied for tests and he knew it. He couldn't even pay attention to the other names just hoping he heard his.

"Justin Tuner, hundred percent. Well done!"

Justin's hand shot up to catch the sweet before offering a smile to his favorite English teacher, Mr. Martinez.

"That's all for today, remember to bring your book for Friday, we're doing an in class reading and I want to be able to hear every one of you ." reminded over the sound of the last bell of the day, chatting to each of his students on the way out. Justin walked past but not before his teacher could catch him.

"Fantastic job on the test Justin. You really like the candy I give out, don't you?" grinned.

"You know that's what I live for Sir ," Justin quipped back playfully. His teacher gave a small chuckle as he shook his head side to side, "I'll look forward to your next quiz too, Mr. Tuner."

With that Justin sprinted to practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~two days later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Can you describe the setting in this dream Justin?" Dr. Foster paused to look up at his patent, waiting for him.

Justin shifted uncomfortably from where he sat, not quite sure of himself. He had always had these dreams but in general, he tended to avoid telling people about because they were just so, _out there_, and it didn't help his case when it came to defending his sanity, something that had been questionable since the day he met the Tuners.

"I don't remember much". Justin trailed off, hopping his psych would just forget out the subject, but alas , he didn't posses such luck.

"Just describe anything. Could be a color or a sound, even a feeling that you had."

Justin stared down at his hands before starting, " I just remember being in a room,one that was just made out of stone . There was a man standing in front of me but I can't make out his face. I was holding a brown bear too."

"Any feelings surrounding the dream?"

"I dunno, disappointment ?"

"Disappointment?"

"I guess I just felt that there was something I had to do, but I couldn't."

"What where you supposed to do?"

Justin shrugged again, counting the seconds until the session was over and he could return to his normal life and forget out his dreams his unknown past, and worst of all, the voice. Ever since he had accidentally let it slip that he heard a voice in his head, he was carted off to different psyches by his mother in hopes that there was something that could help. Truth be told, nothing helped. There was not pill or meditation soundtrack that could turn it off, not that he told anyone that anymore. Justin had learned a long time ago that talking about the voice was not something to do, especially to a school councilor who had just asked you why talk to yourself every now and then. Nope, it was something you kept to yourself.

"Could you hear the voice in the dream?" 's question snapped him out of his thoughts as he shook his head.

"No, I couldn't hear anything. I don't hear the voice anymore, honestly."

"Let's talk about something different, are there any new leads on your past?"

Justin sighed and shook his head. There were never any leads. He had just mysteriously just appeared, no files or missing persons database could find a match. The day that he had first been hit by the Tuner's car was essentially the first day he was born. He didn't remember anything except a vague age of six and general feelings of distrust for those around him. He wasn't surprised that he couldn't remember anything, after getting hit by a car going sixty down a relatively empty highway it was even a miracle that he survived. Especially at the age of six. Justin also had a feeling that it may have contributed to his mental problems, at least he hoped that was the case.

"Nope, same old story. I apparently run out into the street and get hit. Wake up and have no memory of who I am" Justin informed his doctor for what felt like the billionth time. Dr. Foster slipped his glasses off his face and rubbed his eyes before turning them to Justin. He looked as if he was about to say something but stopped, picking up his pens and scribbling something on his pad of paper.

"Is the medication helping?" The doctor asked, not even bothering to look up from his writing. Justin nodded his head but seeing as the doctor wasn't paying him any attention, Justin's confirmation was lost.

"Justin?"

"The meds are fine Doc." But there not working Justin. It was times like these where he really wished the voice would shut up and leave him alone. **You're making your mother sad , Gaara.** _My name isn't ' Gaara', it's Justin. What the hell kind of name it that anyway?_

"Justin!"

The call of his name shocked him out of his thoughts and over to , who had opened up his appointment book on his laptop. Justin stared at him hoping that the doctor would give him some clue about what he had just been asked.

"Uhh, could you repeat that sir?" Justin inquired tentatively, hoping that Foster hadn't noted his inattentiveness.

"What are you doing next week?" looked expectantly at him. Justin stuttered, his mind searching for the answer it had temporarily lost, "I think I'm free next week on Thursday? My next basketball practice is on Friday so coach is giving us a day off."

The doctor just nodded, keying in the data and time for their next appointment while Justin fiddled with his hands, trying to make himself invisible. The clicking sound of the keyboard was making his uneasy and the room had just become unbearable cold.

Foster swiveled around in his chair to look at Justin, concern blatant in his eyes.

"Are we done?" Justin knew that he was being a bit rude bit he really just wanted to get out of that room. The doctor shook his head slightly and Justin quickly jumped from the chair, bade him a good day, and slipped out the door to his awaiting mother.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Next day: lunch~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"And then she got mad that I had stayed up until two to do my homework!"

Justin laughed at his friends antics. He had many friends but only three best friends; Kenny, Brian, and Jake. He and Jake had gone to the same elementary school, Kenny joined them in middle school, and Brian had been the last to tag long because he had just transferred school that previous year. All four of them made an odd group. Jake had always been the more outgoing one , seeing as his charisma knew no bounds . Kenny had joined their group in the middle of the seventh grade. She was quiet and witty with her comebacks but she also was one of the most loyal friends Justin had. Lastly Brian, with his video games and awkward pop culture references that nobody got, had transferred to their school due to bullying problems thus making him the fourth and last person. Justin honestly didn't know what he'd do without them. When he wasn't at practice or doing homework he was hanging out with one or all of them. They had been his summer and weekends since his adoption by the Tuner family.

"I get yelled at if I don't do my homework and I get yelled at if I do and don't take care of my chores!" Kenny threw her hands up in exasperation, "I can't win with that freakin' woman!"

"What about if you did it when you got home instead of looking at cat videos on the web?" Jake suggested jokingly. Kenny raised her eyebrow and gave him a look that clearly stated how much of an option that was.

"And not be able to keep up with you three at the table? Hell no. anyways, it's not like I even watch cat videos"

"I'm sorry," Jake grinned, "I meant the makeup tutorials". Kenny playfully took a swipe at Jake's head while the entire table laughed.

Justin pulled out his chair, sitting himself between his two parents who sat across from each other. The smell of the food in front of him was tempting and he was eager to help himself.

"So, how was school? Tell me about your day." His father began, taking the bowl of mashed potatoes in front of him and scooping some onto his plate.

"I dunno, I guess it was alright. I had-""today was so exciting! We went to the library and got to pick out any book we liked" Sara interrupted, abruptly cutting off her brother. Her father shot her a look and motioned for Justin to continue.

"I had, " he paused for a second to look at Sara , who shrunk down in her chair , " a history test. I think I did alright."

"Did you study?" His mother questioned. Justin shrugged his shoulders a bit and proceeded to take a huge bite of his dinner. Sara wiggled in her chair a bit , increasingly eager to share how her trip to the school's library had gone, and just as she almost couldn't hold her tongue any longer her father turned his attention to her.

"And I got a book from the fantasy section! It was one of those on huge top-shelf that only the fourth graders can reach" Sara blurted. She then proceeded to tell the entire family all about her day for the rest of dinner until Justin quietly tuned to his mother.

"When's Will getting home?"

looked up from her food and thought for a moment before replying, "I think later tonight, but it could be tomorrow evening as well. You know how busy your brother is with college and his part-time job." Justin acknowledged what she had said before turning his attention back to his sister and her long story of something that had happened in her day. Although he hadn't really been paying any mind to what she said, he nodded and "ah uh " his way through the one-sided conversation, which continued through dinner until it was time to clear the table. Sara suddenly became extremely tired and decided that helping Justin clear the table was just too much work for her, so she bounced her way into her room to get ready for the night.

Justin sighed as he stacked the plates on top each other, ready to get them into the dishwasher quickly so he could play some video games before going to sleep. Footsteps in the kitchen made him turn his head.

"Hey dad"

Justin's father, Henry Tuner, stood in the kitchen rolling up the sleeves of his sweater and reaching a shelf to get a glass.

"That was a great game that you played today in practice" praised his father, "you put some real effort into that. I can see why your coach is proud of you. "

Justin smiled at his father's compliment, something that he always treasured. It was one of those things that made him feel loved and something deep inside that that's really all that mattered. Justin chatted with his father a bit before saying goodnight, trudging up the stairs and into his bathroom. Justin debated taking a second shower even though he had rinsed off after practice but finally came the conclusion that he was okay. Justin glanced at the time on his phone. 11:30 eh? I guess I should take my meds and go to bed. Not that they work. Justin winced at the voice and opened his Medicine cabinet, pulling out three bottles with little orange tags on them. He proceeded to pop his dosage amount into his mouth, swallowing them dry before reaching his head down to take a sip from the tap. Justin caught his gaze in the mirror one last time before turning off the light to go to his room, where he pulled out his game controller and sat back on his bed, turning it over in his hands. It the end, Justin decided that he was as too tired to play anything. Stretching himself out under the covers on his stomach, he turned to his thoughts for tomorrow.

Maybe is right. Maybe I should go and explore more of my past. Justin was puzzled on how to go about this, seeing as he had absolutely nothing to go on. There was no record of him even existing before that day. He barely remembered anything and what he did remember made no sense. He had searched countless books and magazines, trying to find a place that matched the description of what he saw in his head but there simple wasn't anything like it. With nothing to go on, Justin determinate that the best place to start was at the stretch of highway right outside of town, where he had apparently been stumbling out on to the road from. He still felt uneasy though. There wasn't anything significant about that stretch of land. It lay next to the coast and there was only about a few blocks between the pavement and the highway. In between it was just sandy rocks, a small cliff whose drop was about three feet on a good day, and scraggly bushes that caught on your arms, giving them little white lines and small cuts. But as he closed his eyes, Justin ignored the feeling of uneasiness and made plans to go there as soon as he woke up thinking _'Nothing bad is going to happen and I just need to stop freaking myself out' _and he promptly fell asleep.


	2. Marker 38

Justin slipped a protein bar into his back pack , for when he got hungry during his exploration. He hesitated before zipping up the bag, thoughts running through his head like wildfire. He wasn't even sure if it was a good idea to go try to find where he had come from. What if I find dead bodies or something? Justin shook his head of such thoughts , closing the backpack as fast as he could . He paused for a second to scribble a note for his mother, telling her that he was borrowing the car and that he'll be back before four o'clock, hoping that this would make her less mad at the fact that he took the car without asking.

Justin grabbed the keys and silently slid out the door. It was about eight in the morning so that gave him , minus the drive there and back, about six hours to hike around the place. Plenty of time to explore the coast line and maybe get some answers, although he doubted that there would be any this many years later. The ignition grumbled as he turned the key, hoping desperately that his parents wouldn't hear the sound, before driving away .

As he rode along the old highway along the coast, the cold wind blowing through the open window, he searched for the rode marker that was closest to where he had appeared from. Justin knew it was marker thirty-eight but seeing as he was only on marker eleven , he figured he had a few more to go and proceeded to turn the radio on. Fifteen. Twenty-four. Twenty-nine. Thirty-six. Justin was getting close, he could almost feel -eight.

Justin pulled over to the side of the road, the gravel making a crunching sound underneath his tires. Putting the car in park, he sat in the car , gazing over the coast. The overcast skies made the water in the ocean look darker and more blue than usual, which gave as striking contrast the sandy , short overhanging bluff that slowly stretched into a seaside shore. Justin turned the car off and climbed out, grabbing his bag and locking the door behind him. He pushed his hand against the pine colored shrubs , testing how difficult it would be to walk through them.

Justin hadn't been here since the accident . He drove by with his family to go to a beach that presided a few miles up , his mother pointing out where he had suddenly ran out onto the road from the bushes. His father recalled that he had barely enough time to brake before colliding with the six-year old. His brother, Will , often joked that he had flown in the air several feet , describing in detail how is tiny body had been flung about like a rag doll or a dead squirrel before Justin's mother would give him what the brothers had dubbed as 'the look'.

The teen pushed ahead, moving the brittle shrubs away from a small rabbit path that he followed, until he reached the cliff. Justin always laughed when it was called a cliff , when in reality , it couldn't have been more than four feet high. He easily jumped to the shore below, the sand cushioning his feet. So far, Justin could find nothing that seemed like it would help him on his personal investigation. It seemed to be nothing more than a beach. Not even a weird shaped rock or anything that seemed out of the ordinary.

Justin gazed about before concluding that there wasn't anything to help him, so he turned to go back up to his car but stopped abruptly because of what lay before him. A dark hole that swallowed any of the light around him beckoned him to come forward, raising his curiosity to an unhealthy level. A level that defied all reason and logic, which left Justin with no other choice but to go into the cave.

About five seconds into what seemed to be just a small hollow, the cave all of a sudden turned into a cavern. Justin crawled out of the little tunnel and stood against a ledge. The drop he guessed was about seven feet , maybe eight. Justin instantly regretted going into the cave . The whole place was dark and he honestly thought that this might have been the stupidest thing he had ever done in his life. Well, second most thing. The stupidest thing that he had ever done in his life was deciding that he was going to go down to the bottom of the cave, just to see what was down there .

He reached into his pack and pulled out a puny flashlight, the kind you get from that weird aunt at Christmas parties. He directed the light at the bottom of the cavern and found that it reflected of something. Squinting in the darkness, he turned the light again and found that the entire carven was now illuminated by a soft light caused by his flashlight reflecting on a pool of water. Keeping his light trained on the water, Justin hunted for the easiest way to get down , finding that whatever path he took, he was going to be sliding down a steeper gradient than he was comfortable with. Justin slowly situated the light on the top of the cave , making sure that it reflected in the water enough to give a decent amount of light , before attempting to take is first step down. It was much more difficult that he thought it would be and Justin soon found himself slowly making his way down, shifting his weight to his hands as his foot hold gave out from under him. By the time that his foot had finally touched the ground , Justin's hands had little cuts all over them, covered by sandy dirt.

He found that the cave seemed devoid of all things that where creepy and crawling surprising , shivering at the thought of what could have been down here. Justin skittishly walked to the pools edge, squinting in the dim light to get a closer view of what was at the bottom of the pool. He discovered that it was a huge drop-of , and staring into the abyss, he couldn't even see a hint of bedrock through the glassy water. Justin hesitantly reached out his hand , his finger tips almost brushing the surface before he heard something behind his. Justin retracted his hand, hearing something move just out of his sight.

This is it, this is the end. I am so stupid. Stupid, stupid ,stupid. he criticized himself. Paralyzed with fear , Justin could feel the sand beneath him begin to shift . Oh god . He felt something graze his hand , the sensation igniting an absolute panic in his body . Just look down Justin , maybe it's harmless. He glanced down , expecting his doom to come in the form of a big hairy spider or something. What. Justin found himself staring at what appeared to be sand caressing his hand , tugging slightly on his fingers in the direction of a corner of the cavern. A corner that held absolutely no light. Nope. This is even worse, I'm hallucinating. I'm probably blacked out , lying face down on the sand as spiders craw on me.

It wasn't a hallucination though, as he found out when the sand gave a second pull, guiding him to the dark corner of the cave. Justin glanced around , trying to make out a shape in the dark, and he dawdled forward losing his courage with every step . His foot stepped into the darkness, soon followed by the rest of him. All the sudden, the sand stopped. Justin clasped his hands together , relieved that the particles were gone.

What lay before Justin was something he couldn't understand. At first he thought it was just a trick of the light or that his eyes hadn't adjusted to the darkness , which turned out not to be the case. He reached down his hands at what seemed to be a stone in the ground , it's cool surface smooth except what looked like some sort of etched writing that was half covered. Justin dusted off the top and sides of the stone, finding that more of it lay hidden beneath the surface, and slowly dug with his hands a small hole next to the stone. Gingerly , Justin pushed against the stone , hoping to work it free from the dirt and when it didn't move , he pushed against it with all his body weight. Justin had just enough time to evade the object that flipped up from the ground . He decided that it was an object, not a rock , judging by it weight and shape. It was some sort of gourd with what seemed to be some sort of tribal symbols carved into it and painted black.

Justin was officially confused now . He had come to this part of the beach to find some clue that could help him uncover his past but all he now had where a ton of questions. He pushed the gourd upright, holding it by the top. His fingers brushed away some more of the sand , uncovering that it was corked. He tried to open it with one hand but it wouldn't budge. Justin also noticed that hanging off the middle part of the gourd was some red fabric, stiff from the abrasive salty air and rough sand. Justin attempted to shake the sand off the material and successfully showered his face with sand, a good portion of it getting on his eyes. Partly blinded, he dropped the gourd , hearing a small popping sound. Oh great, I can't see and the cork is out of the gourd.

Justin sat on the ground behind him , furiously rubbing his eyes , attempting to rid them of sand. With his eyes still temporarily blinded by the sand, Justin heard something move out of the gourd. It rustled the ground, like an it would if spiders or snakes where coming out of it, which is what Justin presumed was coming out. He struggled to move himself back in time before something started crawling on his feet and up his legs. Justin felt absolute panic rise within himself yet his throat refused to utter a sound as it made its way up his chest and neck . Justin closed his eyes, waiting for the enviable as it settled on his face. Except that it never came. The crawling sensation had stopped completely and he found that his eyes where no longer grainy and blurry but that he was perfectly fine. A darkness fell across Justin's mind and he slipped into the abyss.

When Justin finally woke , he patted himself making sure that nothing was still crawling on him before slowly opening his eyes. The flashlight had gone out and the entire cave was dark, except for the small beam of light from where he had come in. It seemed farther away than he remembered and he hoped that he could still find the steep path that lead him up. As Justin's eyes adjusted to the darkness of the cave, he found that the gourd that he had previously been inspecting had recorked itself. Justin sat on the cave floor , thinking about how impossible that was but yet, he saw with his very own eyes that the gourd had somehow managed to put its own cork back in. Somewhere in the back of his mind, the voice snickered in a pretentious way, as if it knew what was going on. Justin found himself questioning his sanity more than ever, really hoping that this was a dream or maybe that he had fallen and was unconscious at the bottom of the cavern. Either situation seemed better than what was going on because this situation was just impossible.

'maybe I should take it home' , he pondered , really asking himself if he wanted to really have a possessed gourd in his house, after all he knew that this was exactly how most horror movies start. Someone does something stupid because of their own curiosity , and they usually end up dead because of it. At the same time, he found another part of him wanted to take the thing home, and against his better judgement that he would.

Justin slowly stood up, careful not to make any sudden movements , fearing that the gourd would attack him again. The gourd itself seemed like any other inanimate object, but Justin wasn't sure of that and he wouldn't take any chances. Attempting to walk as softly and quietly as possible , as if the gourd were a sleeping lion, he inched forward until he reached it. The gourd hadn't moved since he woke up and Justin started to laugh at himself, 'Its a gourd. It's not even like its alive and possessions only take place in movies.' .

Having shaken off his fear, Justin grasped the gourd with one hand on the red fabric and the other on the top of it. He worked it into an upright position, and thinking that it was hard to move because of the tough ground , attempted to swing it over his shoulder in one go .

'Oh my God , what the hell is in here?' He thought after only being able to lift the gourd off the ground about a foot before it became too heavy for his arms. He worked his hands around the fabric, testing its length and strength before concluding that the best way to carry it would be slung over one of his shoulders , having most of the weight fall to the opposite side to keep it on. He squatted down until he was about eye level with the gourd , sliding the red fabric over his left side so it rested on his right shoulder, and then almost fell over when he tried to get up. Justin guessed that the gourd weighed fifty or sixty pounds . With that he turned and started to climb back up the cave wall, the gourd almost tipping him back .

Justin finally made his way out the cave and to his car, before taking note of how dark it was outside . He checked his watch and found that he was about three hours over the planned four o'clock return, 'Shit, my mother's going to get so pissed'. He pulled out his phone and turned it on, hoping that he wouldn't have too many messages . Forty-six missed calls from a caller named mother and sixty-three text messages. There where times where he knew it was useless to hope.

Justin pocketed the phone and opened the back of his car, sliding the gourd off his shoulder to the sturdy platform and closed the door before it could roll out. He walked to the side of the car and got in hastily , not wanting to even later that he was. He turned his mirror to the road behind him and pulled off the side of the road , homeward bound.

Justin found his thoughts reeling, as he drove a few miles over the speed limit. His thoughts kept turning to what he was going to tell his mother, how he was going to sneak the gourd in the house because leaving it in the car was out of the question , and where the hell he was going to put the thing once he did. His closet seemed like the most logical place, after all, he was the only one who ever looked in there and hidden behind some stuff, it would be practically invisible . As for getting it in the house , Justin knew that he had to hide it somewhere first and retrieve it later that night because he suspected that his parents where waiting at the door for him, note in hand. As for what he was going to tell them , he hadn't the slightest clue but he was always good at making things up on the spot and sounding convincing.

Seeing his driveway , he found that the trip to his house was way shorter than when he went to the beach. Justin pulled up into the driveway and sat in the car before deciding that the best place to keep the gourd for the time being was behind the rose bushes in the walkway. It was too dark outside for anyone to notice anyways. He pulled the gourd out of the car through the front seat so his parents couldn't hear the trunk open and close which would be a dead giveaway . With all the strength he could muster , Justin carried the gourd up the front path as silently as was humanly possible , and , even though his arms where getting scratched painfully, he carefully placed the gourd behind the rose-bush.

Justin saw the door, dreading his mothers' reaction when he would walk through it , and breathed in deeply before approaching it. He pulled the keys from his pocket and softly juggled them into the knob , slowly turning it to the right . It clicked and just as softly as he had slipped it in, he jingled it out, trying to make no noise as he pulled the knob and opened the door. It creaked , loudly , making Justin wince.

"Justin ? It that you ?" His mother came swiftly from the kitchen, Justin's father in tow. saw her son and immediately swept him up in her arms as if she was never going to let him go again. She then took a step back and cupped he hands around his face, barely holding back tears .

she stared into his eyes, with a mix of worry and anger, "where we're you? You weren't in your bed this morning and I find a note on the kitchen counter saying that you'd be back by four , and here it is almost eight-thirty! And you didn't tell anyone where you had gone! What if you had been in an accident or worse!"

"Mary , I'm sure he has a good explanation for all this, right?" Justin's father looked at his expectantly, his eyes piercing Justin's . Justin mind seemed to work on its own as he blurted out, "I was at the beach and I accidentally fell asleep?"

His mother gazed at her husband , eyebrows raised in and expectant way.

"I don't care that you went to the beach, but you need to tell one of us where you are going," Mr. Tuner stated, and after being nudged by his wife he added, " and ask for the car next time. We're going to let this go for now, but in the future this won't acceptable ."

"yes sir," Justin kept his eyes down at his shoes , feeling his father's disappointment breathing down his neck.

"uh, Dad?" Justin asked , "I think I left my backpack in the car, can I go get it?"

"sure, just put the keys back when you get in, your mother and I will be in the kitchen ." And with that Justin turned out the door, waiting a few minutes to make sure that his parents where in the kitchen and out of sight.

The gourd was still behind the rose bushes , right where he had left it. So, carefully picking around the thorns, he managed to maneuver the heavy object without cutting himself too badly and swung it on his shoulders for the third time, not that it felt any lighter this time. He slipped into the house and practically sprinted up the stairs, rounding the corner into his room, and locking the door once he was inside. He opened his closet door, and moved aside the suits and jackets , pulling out the pile of old shoes, and tucked the gourd in the farthest corner, where he was sure that not another living soul would look. After replacing all the shoes and taking some of his dirty clothes to add to the volume of the pile, he closed the closest, and for the first time that day, he felt calm. The gourd was already in his closet , where it was well hidden, and that meant that he could take his time to research more.

Justin sat on his desk chair and opened up his lap top, but as he stared at the black screen, he decided that tomorrow would be a better day to look for more information on the gourd. Anyways, he was drained from all that had happened that day. Justin gazed at the clock on his phone, and even though he thought it was pathetic to go to sleep at ten thirty , he really didn't care. Justin had a feeling as he fell asleep , that he may have just found the biggest clue to his missing childhood and that it was going to mess up his life more than anything ever had.


	3. Don't call me 'Gaara'

Justin's Sunday was uneventful , passing him by in a blurt of homework and television. Before he knew it, Monday morning came , a blaring ring that sounded the new week. As he brushed his teeth, Justin debated telling his friends about his weekend 'shenanigans' , as his father so lovingly called them , envisioning Kenny's face as he told her about the cave and almost hearing Jake's laughter as Justin recounted how he had nearly been killed by a possessed gourd. Ya, no. That's not going to happen. In the end , Justin felt that it was in his best interest that no one knew about this unless they absolutely had too. He already had enough people worrying about his sanity and talking about bringing home a possessed, imaginary gourd would only bring him more attention and probably a drug test . His thoughts turned to the gourd, which was still hidden in the back of his closet .

He, in all honesty , had no idea where to start looking for information. _What library in town is going to have information on magic gourds anyways?_, Justin thought. **You should know what to do . It's in your blood, mother says so.** _Ya right, like I'd take advice from you. You're not even real._ Justin just felt ridiculous arguing with the voice inside his head.  
"Justin ? Are you talking to yourself?"  
His head snapped around to the worried look of .  
"Justin , Is the medication not working? You really need to tell me if it's not working" his mother stared into eyes, searching for the truth.  
"no, I was just ...uh... Singing?" Justin wanted to smack his head , both knew that he wasn't singing, he had the voice of a dying whale.  
"are you sure?" gave him one last piercing glance, her gaze telling Justin that she knew he wasn't being truthful with her. Justin awkwardly nodded his head up and down , slowly trying to make his way out of the bathroom and downstairs, where breakfast was.

~lunch time~

Justin set his lunch tray next to Kenny, who was now immersed in a book.  
"so how was your weekend?" Jake began, really wanting to tell everyone about his.  
Kenny briefly looked up and mumbled , "meh, homework."  
Jake turned to Justin , who looked up from his fries. Justin for a split second almost told them about what had happened but didn't.

"I dunno, it was fine I guess." Justin squirmed uncomfortably, "what about yours?"  
Jake enthusiastically reported every detail of his weekend, careful not to leave out any details. Recounting a house party that he had been invited to , what shows he caught up on , and how much he hated his math teacher for giving him a 'shit-ton' of homework. Justin offered his sympathies, adding in his mural hatred for homework. Then, just as Jake was about to describe the hot girl that he met ( and there was always a new one every week ) the bell rang, cutting the conversation short.

Justin had never really been found of poetry. He personally got frustrated when reading it, disliking the way a person had to look for clues in it, like the poem itself was a secret. Feelings are complicated enough, why don't they just spit it out.  
"Hey, uh hmm , what's wrong with your neck dude?"  
Justin turned his head around, staring at the student behind him. Justin hesitantly pointed to himself, raising his nearly invisible eyebrow.  
"What? Nothing's wrong with my neck"  
The student shook his head and clarified , "no , dude , it was like, moving or something . Like there was something crawling under it."  
"um , I didn't feel anything. Are you , I dunno, high?" Justin whispered the last part. The student shook his head, making Justin roll his eyes . Yup, high as a kite. He turned his attention to the poem again, but before he knew it , the student in back of him tapped him on the shoulder .  
"what?!" Justin hissed, feeling more than irritated that he was being bothered, again. The student jumped a little in his seat and mumbled something unintelligible.  
"didn't quite catch that."  
"dude, it like, happened again. "  
Justin slowly turned to look at the student, glowering at him.  
"I'm trying to read a poem, _do you mind_?"  
"no, seriously , the skin on the back of your ne-"  
"this was a rhetorical question, " Justin snapped.  
There was a silence as everyone in the room, including Mr. Martinez, stared that them. Justin decided that he was done with today, absolutely done.

Just as he put his jacket into the assigned locker, Justin's phone buzzed. He checked it quickly and after noticing that it was from his mother, promptly ignored it. He decided that he had enough on his mind without whatever his mother was going to nag him about. Justin opened his locker and pulled the clothes from them, giving them a good sniff . They smelt just as he had expected, disgusting with a bit of too much cologne, and the shirt was a bit stiff from use, but he out them on anyways and made his way out to the court.

Justin's coach was standing out there, one hand on his whistle and the other on a basketball. With a puff of his cheeks , the coach blew , getting the attention of his team.  
"Today we will start with some easy sprints" Justin's coach looked around at the teenagers , waiting for them to quiet down before continuing, " it's simple, you sprint from one end of the court to the other."  
A collective groan could be heard as well as a few out crystal of "but coach!" and " seriously?" . The older man gave a stern look , shushing them once again.  
"how many times do we have to go back and forth?"  
Justin turned to give a stern look at the freshman, everyone on the team knew that any question like that annoyed the coach. With him, Justin found that you where never to ask questions, unless you where clarifying. Even then, Justin's coach would criticize you for not paying attention.  
"Well since you asked, you will run for as long as I tell you to. Get it?"  
"Got it !" The team enthusiastically answered.  
The coach gave a sadistic smile , "good".  
And so practice began , first with sprints that never seemed to end , then with shooting drills, and lastly blocking and passing. Due to the constraint shouting and screech of tennis shoes on the wooden floor, Justin started to get a head ache. He just wanted this practice to be over. The boy to his left dribbled a few feet , and then passed the ball to Justin.

But the ball never reached Justin. One his other team mates had attempted to steal the ball but ended up crashing into Justin. This wouldn't have been a problem , usually he would just fall on the floor and get back up, but this time was different . It felt as if Justin had landed on a soft mat, but more grainy .

The entire team stood completely still in shock, making Justin even more confused.  
"Are you carrying sand in your pocket Tuner?"  
Justin looked under his hands and saw a small hill of sand surrounding him. Now he was just as confused at the rest of his team. One of his teammates stepped forward, holding out his hand , but just as he was about to grab it, a small barrier of sand blocked him. Justin stared at his hand in shock . This is not happening, this is a dream and I will wake up now. I'm afraid not. The voice in his head was practically gleeful.

He could see his coaches mouth moving , but he couldn't comprehend any of the words. The only sound he heard where the memories of people that he didn't know.  
"Freak" "monster" "demon". These words just swirled in his head as he got to his feet and without saying a word , Justin turned to the locker room and started sprinting. He didn't know what he was running from or what he was afraid of but he just knew that he had to escape from this. He grabbed lock and fumbled with it , trying to open the thing and seemingly forgetting how to.  
After slamming the lock against his locker a few times, it sprung open much to his relief . Justin pulled his school clothes and backpack out, before shutting the door closed again, not even bothering to lock it up again.

Justin then remembered that he had no ride home because his mother had taken him to school that day. So he ran to the nearest bus stop . The time schedule said that the next bus would arrive shortly , one coming every fifteen minutes or so. He was lucky though because one pulled up a minute or two later. Justin reached into his bag for some money , giving the driver whatever he pulled out before muttering for him to keep the change. He needed to think , and he found that the bus was the perfect place to do it, but as much as he tried , his thoughts kept jumping from one thing to the next. Justin gave up and pulled out his headphones and music player, listening to some piano music for the next twenty minutes , hoping that it would calm him.

As the bus pulled over to the side of the street nearest his house, Justin practically jumped out and started to run, even though his backpack was bouncing uncomfortably against his back. Running always had an almost meditative effect on him, as if it where second instinct.

~ At his house~  
Justin tried to open the door as quietly as he could, something he found himself doing a lot of lately.  
"Justin? It that you ?!" His mother shouted from the living room. Justin winced , silently hoping that if he didn't answer she wouldn't come to the door. Like most things today however, his wish didn't come true for soon he found himself suffocated by his mother's arms.  
"Justin , what happened?" His mother's glance guilted him into avoiding her gaze. Apparently his coach had called and told his parents about the event that had happened during practice and as his mother tried to get him to explain his side of the story, Justin found that he didn't have any answers for her. He couldn't process what had happened, and it felt like he was walking through a fog, seeing everything happen but not really being present.

"Justin? Justin are you listening to me?"  
Justin stared at his mother, not able to answer her such as one cannot talk to a television screen.

All at once, a hot white pain erupted from his head, making Justin grab the sides of his head. Blindly, he was moved to the couch nearest to him, where Justin sat clutching his head. The pain subsided for a moment, giving him time to gaze at his mother . Suddenly , a small pair of arms wrapped themselves around his shoulder . Instantly, Justin felt extremely guilty for scaring Sara.

"I'm not really feeling very good" he muttered, "I'm just going to sleep." Politely excusing himself, Justin shouldered his backpack and walked up the stairs to his room. The first thing he noticed was the gourd. It had been brought out of his closet and was now leaning on the side of his bed. _Shit, that's what mom was texting me._ Fed up, he got into his pajamas and walked to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

Again, as suddenly as the first one had come, the blinding pain shot through his skull, but this time it was accompanied by an inhuman scream.  
**I WANT BLOOD MY CHILD, GIVE ME BLOOD! WE CAN KILL THEM ALL! GIVE IT TO ME NOW!** The voice was screaming inside his head, and instinctively he started to yell back.  
"Shut up! Shut up! I will not give it to you ! I WILL NOT KILL THEM, SHUT UP!"  
The door had swung open, as Mr. Tuner tried to calm Justin , who at the present moment in time was sitting in a fetal with his back against the tub , clutching his head.  
Gaara, listen to your mother, listen only to me child , I'm the only one who can prote- " Justin , I need you to focus on me, do you hear me ?" Henry Tuner clasped his hands over Justin's in an attempt to get his attention, but all he got in return was Justin jerking his head back so hard it crashed into the side of the porcelain tub, splitting the skin underneath his hair.  
" Stop calling me 'Gaara', that's not my name . Stop calling me that . I SAID STOP CALLING ME THAT!"  
Mr. Tuner's eye widened at the mention of another name, and in trying to get his adopted son's attention he yelled, "JUSTIN!"  
Justin's eyes shot up, but instead of looking into the sea colored eyes he was accustomed to , he was met with golden pupils filled with manic rage.  
"Justin, I need you to calm down for me " and ever so slowly , the color seemed to slip into their natural color. Justin looked exhaustedly at his Dad, before murmuring a small 'help' and falling unconscious. Henry Tuner found a wash cloth and held it to his son's head before lifting him up over his shoulder.  
"William, I need you to open his bedroom door for me"  
The oldest boy had stood outside the door with his mother and sister, trying to make sense of scene before him. After seeing his brothers unconscious form, Will practically ran to open the door for his father, who was struggling under the dead-weight of his younger son .  
William took a closer look at Justin's forehead before telling his father that he'd get the band aid box from the lowest shelf in their pantry. just nodded and continued to hold the washcloth against Justin's face with one hand while the other pulled the covers over the youngest boy.  
"Daddy? Is Justin going to be okay?" The small voice behind him shook with fright as Sara looked on. Henry gave Mary a look, who in turn ushered Sara out of Justin's room, against her protests.

It was times like these when Henry Tuner really noticed how strange his adopted son was. There had always been this seemingly invisible divide between Justin and the rest of the family, something that went unnoticed day-to-day, but when Justin had what the doctors at the hospital liked to call an "episode", it seemed like the family bond that bonded them together was overshadowed by the simple basis that he was not like the rest of the family. His love for his son never faltered and the idea that Justin was truly his son, if not by blood but by the sheer amount of mutual experiences that had occurred between the five of them. Henry strongly stood for the idea that family is the people you grown up with and have those vital life experiences with, not who you shared the same blood with .

All the same, Justin was different and had no idea how to help him. It was as if there was a part of him that was feral, a wild rage that could not be subdued. Maybe it was the outbursts that really highlighted this but it was always there, whether it was the almost lustful look that only flared up at the excitement of an argument or a stressful part of one of his games, or the chilling look, something that even at the young age of six, had the ability to set even the most hardened adult on edge.

It was clear that something had happened in Justin's childhood that effected him enough to seep into his everyday life like a poison, even if the true memories has been blocked. Another thing that Henry had never been sure about is if Justin had any recollection of his past or who his parents where, he wasn't telling anyone for a reason. When they had found him, trying to figure out if the bruises on his body was simply the effect of the crash or if they had been there because if some past abuse. The only thing that really, truly signified any wrongdoing on the account of his care takers was his absolute , almost innate distrust of others. That and the fact that he heard a voice in his head, something that had come up after the adoption. As if that weren't enough, any attempt at getting Justin to explain what the voice was saying was met with silence and a thousand mile stare. Unnerving to say the least. In spite of all this, something had to be done about this for Mr. Tuner refused to let it be avoided.

~~ the next morning ~~

Justin didn't hear his alarm clock that morning and the incessant beep shut off after a few minutes, thus allowing him to sleep in without realizing it. It was only the sunlight that streamed on his face in the late morning, that woke him.

Groggy from sleep, Justin slowly sat up in his bed, confused as to why he was still in bed that late in the morning. Then in a rush the events of yesterday flooded his mind making him cringe, and much like the memories that came back , his headache arrived to, although it was less painful and more of a dull pounding.

The name that the voice kept calling him was unique. It wasn't any name that he'd heard before , certainly not where he lived. Gaara no Subaku . It definitely seemed to feel familiar, and Justin figured that it wouldn't hurt to search it on his laptop.

Still in his pajamas, Justin sat in the swivel chair at his desk and opened up his laptop. It was already on with the internet open to his earlier search, the gourd. Opening another tab, he started typing different combinations of the name in, but with each 'no matches found' he grew increasingly frustrated.

"Gaara?" Mrs. Tuner had entered the room bringing with her a bagel on a plate and a glass of orange juice. Justin swiveled around suddenly as if he had been caught stealing something.  
"what is 'Gaara' Justin ?"  
Justin scratched the back of his head, wondering how to explain it all. If he told her the truth he'd sound crazy, not that anyone was fooled anymore. On the other hand, maybe she knew something that could help him in his search .  
"I think it might be my name" Justin guessed, "it just kept repeating that name , it's never called me by the name Justin and this is the fir-"  
"You're hearing the voice again Justin? You promised me that if you started hearing the voice again that you'd tell someone. My god , Justin why didn't you tell me about this, we can help you!" His mother pleaded, her eyes starting to get watery. Justin looked away, unable to face her due to guilt. Mrs. Tuner rubbed her hands together for a moment before placing one of them on Justin's shoulder . He just shrugged her off.

Mrs. Tuner was at a lost at what to do. She sat at the foot of Justin's bed boring holes into his with concerned eyes. The uncomfortable silence permitted the room. Justin continued to fiddle around on his laptop avoiding talking while his mother played with her hands.  
"How can I help you Justin ? What do you need?"  
Justin didn't have an answer for her. He himself was unsure of how to go ahead from this point.  
"I think I just need some space" he murmured, rhythmically tapping his fingers on the desk. His mother shakily took a breath and nodded. Then without talking, she arose from the bed an walked out of his room , only pausing at the door to whisper a quick 'I love you, Justin '.  
Justin didn't know how it happened , but as soon as she left he felt something wet rolling down his cheek. Damnit. He thought that he had everything under control and life was going fine. Then like always, he screwed it up. Discouraged by the search results, Justin gave up his hunt to just lay on his bed listening to music.

Before he knew it, it was already three-thirty in the afternoon. He noticed this on account of the front door opening and closing, which was then followed by the sound of his little sister running into the kitchen for a snack. After thinking about that, Justin found himself hungry too. The bagel and juice from the morning were gone, so he walked down stairs hoping to make as little noise as possible.

"Justin?"  
Justin turned around to face to tiny voice. His sister looked at him with distraught before running and hugging him around his waist. He hugged her back halfheartedly.  
"are you okay?" Her big eyes looked up at him expectantly and he smiled a little.  
"Ya, I'm fine"  
"No you're not". Justin looked up to see Will.  
"I'm truly fine, trust me" Justin countered, not wanting to scare Sara.  
"Stop lying Justin! All you do is lie because you think it's better if people don't know about your problems."  
"Sorry I didn't want to worry anyone, how selfish of me!"  
"You know what happens when you don't tell anybody? You end up freaking out and having a mental break down."  
By this time Sara started to plead with her brothers to stop fighting, but it fell on def ears.  
"I'm fine Will, just let it go!"  
"Fine? You're fine? That's a joke be cause I recall that last night you had a screaming fit in our bathroom!"  
By this time , Mrs. Tuner came to see what was going on, but the brothers didn't notice her.  
"Just shut up Will!"  
"NO, I WONT SHUT UP JUSTIN! You had a meltdown at school and at home!"  
"I don't want to talk about it Will! Just drop it!"  
" DUDE YOU WHERE BABBLING TO YOURSELF LIKE SOME FREAK AT A MENTAL HOSPITAL"  
"I SAID SHUT UP WILL!" The sound of rustling reached everyone's ears but Will and Justin didn't care.  
"YOU ALWAYS SHUT US OUT JUSTIN! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TALK TO SOMEONE WHO WONT OPEN UP? I'M SORRY I DON'T WANT YOU TO END UP AT THE HOSPITAL AGAIN WITH THE OTHER FREAKS!"  
"DON'T CALL ME A FREAK!" and with that last yell, Will slammed into to couch by a small wave of sand. For a moment everything stood still. No one could believe their eyes for the gourd that was up stairs in Justin's room was now creating itself on his back.  
"You're a monster, Justin. That not natural"  
That was the only thing he needed to hear before seeing nothing but red. Justin turned towards the door , but not before grappling the keys to the car and running out. His mother followed behind.  
"Justin wait!" His mother called out to him. But Justin wasn't listening as he pulled out of the driveway and speed off. He only had one place in mind, the cove.

~~the cove~~

It was just as before, with the hidden dark cave. The only difficult part was trying to walk through it with the gourd on his back. The object had become more manageable weight wise, but it was still large and unwieldy.

Just like before , Justin slid down the drop off onto the cavern floor and just like last time the pool ahead of him glimmered with some sort of glowing light . His original plan was to dump the gourd and forget the whole thing, but he couldn't help noticing how the light from the pond had changed color. The first time he had been here, it was blue and green. Now, the pond shone brighter than before, it's light a golden-yellow like the sun.

Justin crept to the water's edge and peeked over slightly. To him it was as if there was sunshine at the bottom of the pool. He leaned closer to the pool trying to get a good look and ended up loosing his balance because of the gourd.

Justin fell into the cold water with a large splash, falling well below the surface. The gourd weighed him down a lot and as he struggled to swim upward, it seemed as if the pool was turning itself upside down. Now instead of the dark cave that he came from , the lights from the bottom of the pool got closer and closer. His lungs where burning and panic overcame him. Is only instinct was to swim up. He felt his strength almost double with the amount of adrenaline that was pumping through him, straining every muscle in his body to breach the surface. Then as his vision started to fade out, he reached the air above the pool and started to wildly flail around, reaching for any ledge to grabbed onto before he was pulled under again. A rough, grainy ledge brushed his fingertips , and Justin swam hurriedly to the side where the side of the pool was and hauled himself to the surface. In a haze, he stumbled forward into the sunlight, not even noticing that it was a different way out than before.

The sunlight hit his face stronger than before as he looked towards the horizon. Instead of the blue ocean and tiny white waves, all he saw was a vast expansive desert. His confusion took over as he unsteadily stumbled forward amid the burning sand.

Justin had no clue as to how long he walked but before he could even register what was happening, black spots crowded his vision until it was all he saw. His knees hit the ground first and then the rest of him followed, unconscious in the blistering sand.


	4. who's your daddy?

A warm light came into Justin's conscious, rising him from his slumber. He blinked his eyes , adjusting its golden glow streaming into the room. The room itself was nothing like anything he had seen before with its sandstone walls and sparse wooden furniture. The bed he was laying on was also wooden with white bed curtains and sheets, like a hospital bed, with the curtains pulled together except for a small peak that he could get. Sitting just to the right of him was a nightstand, also wooden, with an empty glass vase with what also appeared to be a folder of some sort but he couldn't make out any of the writing on it. The script was unfamiliar and had the appearance of a childlike scribble.

The air blowing through the large window was too hot and dry to be comfortable, making Justin's eyes sting and the curtains flutter softly. He rubbed his eyes, trying to get rid of the dust in them before sitting up on the headboard. Justin looked toward the door his eye caught a glimpse of something big in the corner of the room. The gourd that had caused a lot of theses recent problems was propped up against the wall triggering the events of yesterday and the night before to reeling through his mind.

Justin instantly regretted the fight with Will, scaring his little sister and mother, as well as frightening most of his teammates. He just didn't know what to do at this point. Not to even begin with the sand that kept hurting those around him, something that definitely had the potential to be useful if controlled but it was clear to him that the sand was possessed. **Ahhhh, to be home again, right my child?** _Home? I don't even know where this is!_ **Well then take a look outside! I'm positive you'll recognize it in an instant.** _Why do you just tell me where the hell I am?_ **Oh no Gaara, that would ruin the surprise**.  
Sometime shortly after, Justin swung his legs to the side of the , pushing the curtains away . Unfortunately, he had pushed himself a little too much to get into a siting position that as he tried to stand, all he could do was sit right back down. Frustrated with himself , Justin slowly rose up, making sure not to fall back down again, disregarding the fuzzy feeling in his head. He started to walk after a few seconds after being up , even though his balance was a bit off and he kept on stumbling after what felt like every step. But even so, Justin managed to reach the window and peer out.

The sunlight was blinding and the closer he was to the window the hotter it got, making his head spin. The city before him was like nothing that he had ever seen before. A large citadel carved into rock with towering walls. Every building looked almost the same color of beige and the streets where sand. There was no cars or any evidence that cars could enter the city, only what seemed to be horse-drawn carts and vendors that lined the main streets while people weaved in and out of them. There where even people jumping from buildings and landing on their feet as if it where nothing. He looked down over the ledge of the widow to see where one man had landed and regretted it instantly. The haze in his head was back and this time, it was much more difficult to steady himself. Simultaneously, the door behind him opened letting in a flood of voices and people.  
"What are you doing Subaku-san?" A young women in a completely white uniform rushed over to help Justin stable himself. Justin was still very confused.  
"What did you just call me?"

The young women's eyes widened in fright and apologizing profusely and corrected herself, "I'm so sorry Subaku-sama! Please forgive my mistake."  
Justin stared at her, wondering why in the world she was apologizing. He thought that she almost looked frightened of him. She helped Justin to feet and sat him on the bed and said something about getting him water. The other people in the room until this time had been silent, and Justin had really just been oblivious to them. There where three more people, an older men ,one younger that looked around his age, and a girl who could have been a few years older. He stared at them trying to figure out what he was seeing.

The younger boy had reddish-brown hair and was wearing what to Justin could only be described as some sort of face paint or makeup. The purple paint contrasted his lighter skin tone and light brown eyes. The girl was taller that the younger man, with dirty blonde hair pulled back into four pigtails at the back of her head, and just like him , she looked as if she couldn't register what she was seeing. The last man in the room looked extremely familiar , even if Justin couldn't remember from where. The man had hair the color of licorice with the same light brown eyes that the younger man had, only these looked old and tired. The weirdest thing about the bunch was that they all where looking expectantly at him, as if he knew something or was supposed to recognize him.  
Awkward wasn't a strong enough word for Justin's situation now.

"Ummm, hi? Do I know you?" Justin inquired with a timid wave of his hand. The older man with red hair spoke first.  
"You don't recognize us, Gaara?"  
"uh no? Should I?" Justin was a little alarmed at being called the name that the voice kept repeating, "I'm sorry. I think this is a bit of a misunderstanding, my name is Jus-"  
"I know who you are."  
It was a statement that carried so many questions with it.  
"No, I don't think you do. My name is-" Justin continued but was abruptly cutoff by the same man.  
"Your name is Gaara No Subaku, I know you."  
By this time Justin was getting increasingly frustrated.  
"My name is Justin Tuner. Look sir, I don't know who your mixi-"  
"Justin Tuner? Is that what you think your name is?"  
"I KNOW WHO I AM OKAY?" Justin snapped, "I don't know who this 'Gaara' person is and I'm sorry that you lost him but I'm not him, okay?"  
The blond girl in the corner looked increasingly worried as her eyes flitted between Justin and the red-haired man.  
The red-haired man pursed his lips and looked Justin straight in the eyes before continuing,  
"Gaara, please stay calm and-"  
"CALM? You want me to stay calm? I AM IN A PLACE I DONT KNOW WITH RANDOM PEOPLE CALLING ME A NAME THAT ISN'T MINE! CALM IS NOT WHAT THIS CALLS FOR RIGHT N-"  
In the corner of the room something exploded and bounced off the ceiling. The entire room jumped, and the red hair man continued in a soft voice, "that is why I need you to stay calm , Gaara. The more excited or scared you are the more the Shukaku will act up and cause more accidents like that."  
Justin stared at the gourd in the corner, realizing that the reason it even moved at all was when he was experiencing a strong emotion. It also came to him that the only reason it attacked his brother was because they were in a fight. It was his fault.

He looked to the man and the two younger teens, hesitant to ask his next question, fearing he already knew the answer. Besides, it was obvious to him now why they where insisting that he was someone else. The reason that they looked familiar was simple. the man with the red hair had his hair to to same shade and his voice was the one from his dreams. Looking into the girl's eyes was looking in a mirror, they where the same color and extremely similar face shapes. The other boy , although you couldn't tell a glance, shared more characteristics with Justin than he was comfortable. Same upturned nose , eye shape and facial expressions.  
"Are you? You like-?" Justin couldn't even say it.  
The blonde girl out her hands up to her lips as if she was pleading with him to complete his sentence. Justin just swallowed uncomfortable.  
"Are we related?"  
The room was silent until the girl spoke up, "yes, we are".  
" I'm sorry, I just don't know who you are." Justin looked wildly at the group of strangers at the door, not really convinced that this was real.  
"My name's Temari and this is your brother Kankuro. You've been missing sinc-"  
"I was six. I know", Justin interrupted, causing her to shrink back a little , making him feel guilty. Justin stared at the older red-haired man who had not spoken yet, trying to figure out how they were related. To him it would only seem logical that he was an uncle or something to that effect, knowing that if his mother was alive she'd be with her husband. Justin saw no women except for his sister and the nurse.  
The man finally looked like he was about to say something but thought better of it, making Justin all the more hesitant to ask.  
"Are you my uncle?" God, I hope I'm right.  
"No"  
oh shit, oh shit, who is this person? Father's dead probably , uncles out now. What other older male family members is there.  
"Are you my cousin once removed or something like that?" Justin now just felt incredibly stupid and extremely mortified that he could not remember who this person was. In spite of this and probably against his better judgment , he kept trying to guess.  
"Are you my Grandfather?"  
"what no!"  
"Friend of the family ?"  
"no, I'm -"  
"just my mother's friend?"  
"excuse me?"  
"it's completely possible"  
" Are you insinuating-"  
"It has happened before and it will happen agai-."  
"I am your father, Gaara"  
Justin stared at the man, with which at first was confusion that slowly turned into a mix of disgust and anger. The man narrowed his eyes, unsettled with the sudden turn of emotions.  
"That's impossible" Justin argued, " a father wouldn't just let his six-year-old kid wander through the desert and get lost. Jesus Christ , did I you even look for me?"  
The man stiffened as if someone had just slapped him in the face. A mix of hurt and anger was quickly replaced by a neutral face.  
"it was too late by the time that anyone-"  
"I was six , how far could I have gone?"  
"You had a good three hours on everyone and with-"  
"Ya, and I'm pretty sure that everyone who looked for me would have had a good two feet over me . So what? You just gave up?"  
"Mostly I figured you'd turn up eventually. Most six-year-olds return home after a few hours to day, so it wasn't -"  
"So you where just waiting for me to turn up dead from dehydration or something? Who the hell does that?"  
"Would you stop interrupting me?" The man glared at him , expecting Justin to shrink under his gaze. Justin glared back but kept silent as the man continued, "I was difficult to find you do to the Shukaku's influence, and -"  
"The what's influence ?" Justin knew that. He was interrupting but he didn't care, but unexpectedly his biological father didn't look mad either, just disconcerted.  
"The Shukaku," He said carefully, making sure to enunciate clearly. Justin shook his head, the word still not ringing any bells.  
"Gaara do-"  
"Don't call me that"  
"Do you hear a voice in your head?"  
Justin was floored and asked shakily, "how did you know about the voice?"  
"Do you remember anything?  
Justin shook his head silently, clarifying "the voice isn't real though right? I'm just mental"  
"Gaara, the voice in your head is very real. It's name is the Shukaku or the one-tailed demon"  
"so I'm like cursed? How does that even happen?"  
The question was answered in silence.

Justin had tried to take it all in but the sheer magnitude of this new information was insanely overwhelming. All his life since he had joined the Tuner's there had been one question the was always in the back of his mind.  
"Jesus Christ" he murmured, pinching the bridge of his nose out of frustration and  
Kankuro looked at him in slight confusion before asking, "who is 'Jesus Christ?"  
Justin just rolled his eyes, not wanting to explain. He had absolutely no idea what to do now. He didn't know where he was nor did he really know these people. They could be impostors for all he knew, there was no proof that they where who they said they were nor that he was indeed Gaara, their long-lost brother.  
"Do you want some food or something to drink? You look like you could use something ", suggested his new sister. Justin nodded, he was parched and getting some water would probably help things clearer and his headache a bit better. She looked relieved and excited , even though she tried to hide it behind a mature exterior.  
"Do you want to eat with us tonight?" Temari's hope was something that Justin didn't want to quench just yet and he thought to himself, what's the harm? It's just one little dinner. So he stood up again but had to sit back down when the world started to spin.  
"Here, you're dehydrated from staying out in the desert so long" bet Kankuro, holding out a metal canteen. Justin unscrewed the tiny cap and sniffed the contents. It seemed like water but when he brought it to his lips and tasted, a metallic aftertaste made him grimace. Kankuro laughed about and added, "Sorry for the weird taste, water heated in a metal container generally isn't as pleasant".  
Justin just smiled as he took another swig, still not a fan but he didn't really care anymore, it was still water. He stood up again, this time feeling better and it wasn't just his head.

~~~  
By the time that they had reached the front door of the building, Justin's father and other silent man who hadn't introduced himself excused themselves leaving just Justin and his two new siblings. It now occurred to him that he had no idea where he was. One moment he had been in his world and the next he was in this one. Justin didn't even know the name of the citadel that he had presumably been born and spent this infancy in. He stopped and turned to Temari and Kankuro, who then stared at him perplexed at his sudden action.

"Where am I?"  
That was met with more stares only theses looked a bit more concerned.  
"I mean, what is this city called?"  
Both of the siblings looked still baffled by his question before Temari spoke up, "Sunagakure"  
"Ya, that really doesn't mean anything to me" Justin looked between them hoping for another clue.  
"Does 'the village hidden in the sand' mean anything to you?"  
Justin shook his head, "nope, try again?"  
"The land of wind?"  
"Nope"  
"The elemental countries?"  
"How about try again for three hundred ?"  
"Three hundred what?" "Did you live under a rock for the past few years?" Both the siblings spoke at once. Justin pictured their reactions when he tried to explain how he got here, but decided against the thought favoring a shrug.

Once they started to walk on the Main Street, Justin started to feel uncomfortable. Something was odd about the way that people kept staring at him. Mothers would pull their children into them or order them into the house. Shopkeepers would see him and shut their doors and vendors would close their windows. It was as if he was a wild beast coming to eat them. Temari and Kankuro noticed this too, glancing at him as if he was going to blow up any moment. It wasn't that people were staring at him, that he had expected after being gone for so long. It was the looks of sheer terror as if he was the villain of their nightmares or the monster that hid under the bed at night. There where times when he was thankful that at he had no recollection of what had occurred, but this was not one of them. Justin just wanted to apologize to each and every one of them for something, even if he didn't know what it was. There was also the feeling as if he knew most of the places that he saw but was unable to connect them with any memories that would give some sort of background on their importance.  
The three siblings walked for thirty more minutes in silence, waiting for the other to strike up conversation. Justin noticed that they soon came to a stop at a larger stone building with an adobe red door.

"Is this home?" He joked, until Temari pulled out a key and opened the door.  
The furniture was nothing like the kind he had back home. It was as if it was all for midgets that hated chairs; extremely low to the ground. The walls where the same beige color as the outside of the house, and the floors were also stone but with a slight waxy sheen. He started to walk forward but his arm was pulled back by Kankuro, who motioned for him to remove his shoes.  
As he bent down, Justin found that this was an opportune time to start talking, "so, how's life been going since I've been, uh, gone?"  
Justin just wanted to smack himself for such a stupid question.  
"it's been , umm, interesting?" Temari answered uneasily , trying to out a way to approach the subject.  
"Do you like tea?" She asked Justin as he followed her to the kitchen, Kankuro trailing behind.  
"I guess it's alright. But I don't really drink it a lot " Justin answered truthfully adding, "I really only have it when sick."  
The next room that they entered was definitely a kitchen. There was a stove and sink, even a refrigerator. That room gave into the next, a room that Justin guessed was a dining room by the small table that sat in the middle of it.

When food and tea had been prepared and brought to the table, the siblings sat on the ground cross-legged. Justin had eaten food like this before with his family so it wasn't that different, but those where rare occasions when his father brought home take-out. This food was fresh prepared though. Bowls of white rice were placed in front of each of them and in the middle salt some sort of mushy red meat dish. Deciding that it would be impolite to ask what it was, he watched his older sister and brother take their food first , so he could model them. Just like them , he took the spoon and scooped a helping out, pouring it on his white rice.  
"Where have you been exactly?" Justin looked up at Kankuro from his pouring the weird food on his rice.  
Justin debated on how to explain it, " ummm I've kinda been in another world?"  
"Umm what?"  
Justin just sighed, "I've lived in another world, it was accidental that I even found this place."  
"wait, you've lived in another world? Like one of the dimensions where the summonings live?"  
"I guess. I don't actually know what a 'summoning' is but if it means that you can't just drive there than ya."  
"what is 'drive'?"  
"ya know, driving a car?"  
"Car?"  
"automobile ?"

"it's kinda like a big metal cart th- wait, you don't have cars here?"  
Everyone at the table looked confused.  
Temari spoke up, "have you been living on your own this entire time?"  
Justin shook his head, "no , I got adopted by another family."  
"Adopted?"  
Justin shrugged, "ya, things are different from where I'm from."  
Temari paused To take a sip of tea before asking the question that most everyone wanted to hear, "How did you even get here? I mean we found you in the middle of the desert , passed out three days ago, where have you been before that?"  
"ITS BEEN THREE DAYS?" Justin cried, "holy crap my parents must be freaking out! Do you know the way that I came from?". Temari shook her head partly laughing.  
"What do you mean 'your parents'?" She chuckled, scooping some food from her bowl into her mouth.  
"My adopted parents, the Tuners. My brother and I had a fight and I got mad so I drove around to cool myself off and get rid of that stupid gourd but ended up here."  
"You have another brother?" Kankuro asked, a little more interested than he should have been.  
"Ya, his name is Will, he's a bit older than you." Justin fluffed the back of his head sheepishly and hoping to get away from the subject he continued ,"and I accidentally fell into a pool of water but when I finally reached the surface again I was here."  
Both Temari and Kankuro looked suspicious , even though he was definitely telling the truth.  
"A pool of water?" Kankuro asked skeptically making Justin fidget.  
"I was just told that I have a demon in my head, you don't get to make faces at crazy stuff."  
There was a long pregnant silence in which the siblings eat a bit, trying to figure out what to say next.  
"So, what did you and your brother fight abo- Ow! God Temari what was that for!" Kankuro rubbed his head where there was nice bruise forming because of his , as Temari put it 'insensitivity'. Justin just started to laugh at their antics, making them turn to him and stare wide-eyed.  
"It's a long story and kinda depressing, you really don't want to hear about it." He said finally after catching his breath. But even as he started to scoop food into his mouth, both of the older siblings kept looking at him expectantly. So he shoveled more food into his mouth hoping they would drop the subject. Of course they didn't, but Justin didn't really want to tell them a lot of the things that happened, like the voice that he hears in his head or talk about what he and Will fought about. Justin supposed that he could tell them a few things about himself and his life, but could just leave out a few details, anyways not saying anything isn't technically lying.  
"I guess I should start from the beginning."

By the time that Justin , Kankuro and Temari had finished talking, the sun had descended through its rainbow of colors into black.  
"What time is it anyways?" Justin glanced around for a clock and checking his pocket for his phone. He turned to Temari and Kankuro who where stacking their bowls and cups together.  
"It's about ten thirty, you pick one of the guest rooms to rest in, the bed in the room where we put all your old furniture and things has a bed but it is too tiny for you to fit comfortably anymore" Temari explained.  
"could I still go see it though?" Justin questioned, his curiosity getting the best of him. His sister smiled and nodded before motioning for him to follow her up a flight of stairs.

By the time that they had reached his old room, Justin was starting to think better of going in, fearing that he might not like what he would find or even what he might not find. Temari pushed the door open and allowed him to enter the room first.  
It was much like the rest of the rooms in the house, barren with extremely short furniture. There was a bed that, as Temari had predicted, was much too small for him and a dresser with only three drawers. On top of which sat a lamp and picture. Justin picked up the photograph and blew a few years worth of dust off it.  
The women in the picture looked a lot like his sister. Same face shape, hair color, eye color, and smile. Her hair was down a little past her neck and she faced the camera.  
"Is this?"  
Temari gave a small smile and confessed "that's our mother, her name was Karura"  
"She's beautiful, and she also looks a lot like you." Justin smiled back at Temari, how looked pleased but also slightly uncomfortable.  
"I think I'm going to stay and look around for a while, okay?"  
Termari nodded thoughtfully and added, "just don't fall asleep okay?"  
"Um, why not?" Justin stared at her as if she was crazy, "everyone needs sleep, myself included."  
"You've been sleeping?" she exclaimed, "how had the demon not gotten out?"  
Justin help up his hands, a little worried about her strong reaction, "I was just joking! Not going to go to sleep, I promise!"  
She still looked a little unsure but seemed to trust him as she slipped out of the room, giving him privacy.


	5. Clothes do Make the Man

Justin didn't sleep at all that night, going through all the objects in his room, trying to find some recollection in his mind about them. Everything seemed familiar, and it was very obviously because it was him, but yet he couldn't make one tiny memory come back and if that weren't frustrating enough, the one time that he could remember was when he slept, something with was apparently very dangerous for him now. Justin also didn't know if he truly believed if Temari, Kankuro and the red-haired man where his biological family, although there was evidence to back it up. Come to think of it, he didn't even know the man's name, much less what to call him. Dad seemed to informal and he didn't really feel comfortable calling him a name he only reserved for his own Dad, Mr. Tuner. Mr. Subaku seemed too formal though and 'father' was just awkward, again because he didn't really even know the man. Justin wasn't even sure if he wanted to know him. Then man seemed cold and calculating, and if he could turn a blind eye to his six-year-old son , what was to stop him from doing the same again?

It didn't matter anyways because, as much as Justin would have liked to stay to find out more, he had a life, friends, and a family waiting for him to come home. This didn't mean of course that he'd never see them again, it just meant that it had to be put on hold until summer or some sort of extended weekend. So, Justin made it his resolve to come back, which meant that he had to leave first.

Deciding that sitting on the bed wasn't going to help, Justin pushed himself to his feet and began to walk to the kitchen. No one was up at this time in the morning, it was still to cold and dark with just the hint of light in the sky. Justin wondered if he should eat something or wait for his new siblings to come down for breakfast. He knew he was hungry due to the small ache in his stomach, but he didn't want to seem rude. He thought about turning on the small television that was in the family room, which surprisingly seemed new despite being about the size and thickness of a toaster. It even had an antenna that stuck out of the corner, something that Justin hadn't seen since he was a kid, and even then that style of TV was being fazed out. He turned each one of the little dials under the screen, attempting to figure out how to turn it on but this was to no avail.  
"Good morning"  
Justin whipped his head around to stare at the source of the voice, his biological father. The man was still clothed in a pair of black pants and black shirt. Is that all he wears? Justin could just imagine his closet being nothing but coat hangers of black attire.

"Good morning" Justin replied, feeling incredible awkward and extremely unsure of how to act around this man. It wasn't like they had any relationship besides the biological, and with the huge culture and age gap it was clear they had nothing in common. Silence permeated the air as the both continued to go on with what ever they were doing, avoiding each other's glances. Justin returned to fiddling with the TV, still extremely confused about the lack of a power button, and the fourth Kazekage continued to make his meager breakfast of tea and toast. It wasn't until Justin started to get increasingly flustered that the older man dropped his toast before holding out his hand. Justin looked at him before handing the TV over, who in turn reached behind the small box and clicked something into place.

"You have to plug it in to the socket, the news is on two, five, and eight" he instructed, handing it back to Justin and added, "do you have TVs in the other world?"  
"Ya, I just haven't worked with this kind, it's super boxy you know?" Justin explained, "nowadays the screens are a lot flatter"  
The fourth Kazekage raised his thin eyebrows, obviously curious at the difference in technology. Justin found the socket and plugged the tiny television in and watched as the screen came to life. Deciding against his better judgment, he pressed his prodigal son for more information.  
"So the televisions are flat?" The fourth Kazekage questioned between sips of tea. Justin continued fiddling with the channels as he nodded.  
"I can't believe this is in black and white," Justin kept staring at the screen, tapping the glass that protected it.  
"Most home televisions are in black and white, color is just used by the military for now. Do you have a personal color television?"  
Justin looked at him incredulously, " Freakin' everyone has a color TV. I don't know anyone who doesn't. I don't even think that you could find a black and white TVs anymore."

The older man merely nodded, and continued his breakfast as usual. Justin turned his attention back to the screen, avoiding any conversation. Just as the silent tension in the room began to become too much, Kankuro lazily ambled into the kitchen clothed in nothing but a shirt and pajama pants, surprised to see that the two where already down. He turned and noticed that Justin didn't have anything to eat in front of him.  
"Gaara, do you want some toast? I'm going to stick some bread in for myself, so ya." Kankuro trailed off nervously, hoping that his younger sibling didn't have a negative reaction.  
"I'd love some, thanks" replied Justin, happy that he finally had an excuse to eat something.  
"Could you put some in for me to?" requested Temari who was already for the day, although Justin noticed, she seemed to be wearing the same outfit as yesterday.  
"There's only two slots in the toaster Temari" started Kankuro  
"Well then I guess I'm taking your piece then" she sassed back, obviously not a morning person.  
"You can't take my piece, I was here first"  
"Sucks for you. It's mine now."  
"Why would you think that you could steal my piece, huh?"  
"Older sister privileges. What? Do you want to fight me for it?"

Justin watched in fascination as the argument before continued to escalate, the threats passed back and forth becoming more violent and aggressive. He looked over to his birth father, wondering if he was going to step in at any moment, but no, he just looked up wearily from his breakfast at his two older children as if he had seen this fight a million times before.  
"Do you want to take this to the training grounds Kankuro, because we can do that!" Temari looked dangerously at him, her eyes blazing.  
"Ya, we can do that. You always think that because you're the older sister you get everything !" He shouted right back at her.  
"That's not true at all!"  
"My ass it's not true!"  
Justin was starting to feel really uncomfortable now, wondering if it was because of him that this tension started.  
"You could have my toast if you want" he suggested meekly to Temari, hoping to quell the fight. Both siblings stopped shouting at each other to stare at him as if he had never said anything nice before.  
"I kind of just want you all to take a seat anyways, I kind of want to talk to you about something" Justin confessed. All eyes turned to him in an unnerving, staring way.  
"I've end really enjoyed meeting you all and thank you , honestly, for letting me stay here last night," Justin went on, trying to gage their reactions before they could possibly explode on him, " but I have to go home. I have probably made everyone I know worry unnecessary. I will come back though, during summer vacation most likely, and get to know a little more information about me and you guys, but do you think that you could get me back to the cave?"

The fourth Kazekage spoke up, his voice steady as if he where explaining adding to a five-year old, "even if we could find the cave that you stumbled out of, the council and I have come to the decision that you may have grown sense your youth and are now showing some potential."  
"'Showing some potential'? Potential for what?" He repeated angrily, "are you just going to keep me here forever now?"  
"Do you know why you were created Gaara?" His father asked somberly. Justin didn't think he even had a specific purpose in life, not much an real reason for why he was conceived, a thought that now greatly disturbed him. The fourth continued after watching his confusion, " you were created as a weapon for this village Gaara, but when you where young you where out of control and mental unstable, therefore, unusable. But now, I don't know what has changed exactly, but you now have the potential to fulfill your duty now. I'm sorry if you feel that we abandoned you from a young age, but now your back with your family. One day in the future, there is the possibly of finding this cave that you speak of and seeing of you can return but until then, I would suggest that you focus on your training. You are a shinobi Gaara, the fight in your blood and bones."

"This is ridiculous" Justin marveled at his pretentiousness, "again, I really appreciate you saving me from the desert, but that doesn't give you the right to take me away from my family."

The fourth Kazekage ignored his statement, and addressed Kankuro, "I need you to go into town today with Gaara and supply him with any tools he may need, as well as outfitting him in some more desert appropriate clothes." With that, he stacked his glass on top of his plate and slid it over to the sink and exited the room. The rest of breakfast continued in an angry silence.

By the time that Kankuro and Justin had walked out of the house, Justin had time to stew over his argument. The brothers walked through the town center into the shops district for some of the items that Justin apparently needed, much to his irritation. Kankuro conversely was, as much as he felt selfish thinking it, delighted that his younger brother was back in his life, not to mention that he was as sane as any normal person. Kankuro had remembered when he was younger, his father talking about Gaara but much to his disappointment, they were kept separate from each other due to 'safety reasons'. Justin politely followed Kankuro to their first stop, a small store with only one window, whose display case held two headless mannequins styled in a way that Justin had never seen before.

"so, our first stop is to get you some more appropriate clothes to wear in he desert," addressed Kankuro, glancing up and down at Justin's heavy jeans, long-sleeved t-shirt and beat up old converse, "today you probably just pick something out, but they'll have it ready within the week." Justin nodded and followed Kankuro inside that shop.

With the light tingle of a bell, a man at the counter looked up from his book to smile at the approaching costumers, but once recognized, his face dropped into a more aloof expression. Justin stood behind Kankuro, unsure of what to do or even why there was a change.

Fortunately, Kankuro was unfazed by this, stepping up to request the most recent catalogue for men's apparel, and as the man went into the back to get it, Kankuro advised " you should look around to, just to see if they have anything you like already."

Justin looked about the shop from where he was standing and unsure of where to start he looked to Kankuro and inquired, "how did you know what to pick?"

"Think something that's light but will also keep you protected from the sun. I also would avoid bright colors too" he joked.

"uh, Sabaku-san?" stammered the man from behind the counter, "here's the latest catalog. How many sets would you like to buy today."

"um, how about seven?", Kankuro concluded, "just a weeks worth. Also, I'm going to need a pair of sandals too."

"wait, seven shirts or ..?" Justin was perplexed, wondering why he would need seven pieces to one outfit.

"Seven of the same outfit" Kankuro corrected nonchalantly, as if have that many sets of the same outfit was completely normal. _Well this explains why I thought they were all wearing their clothes from yesterday._

Kankuro flipped open the book, leafing through some pages before motioning for Justin to come over and decide for himself. Justin stared at the wide arrange of outfits that where splashed onto every page, each one available in at lest three different colors. He had no clue about what was acceptable to wear in this village and for his new ( and unwanted) job. Nothing was even close to something he'd wear voluntarily at home. He turned to Kankuro for help, but found that he was immersed in a conversation with the clerk. So he resumed flipping the pages, and before long he gave up on trying to figure out something. _That's it, the next page I turn to I'll just point and that what I'm wearing!_ Justin took the book in his hands with the spine still on the counter and closed it momentarily before letting in fall back down and open to a random page, he closed his eyes and pointed.

The outfit underneath his fingers seemed interesting enough, if not a bit hot. It was three pieces; pants, shirt that tucked into the pants and a jacket that went down to the middle of his thigh in front and down to his ankles in the back. The shirt came either in black or white, while the pants and jacket came in either black, white, maroon, or green.

"do you like any of them?" Kankuro managed to sneak up on him. He gazed over his younger brothers shoulder to see what he had picked out. The man tried to get a look at what Justin had picked out but was also holding two toaster sized boxes in each hand.

"Do people wear this?" Justin pointed at the outfit in the catalogue. Kankuro shrugged his shoulders a bit replying " everyone wears something different, its kinds tough to saw what 'popular' and what's not"

"will it be too hot to wear?" Justin asked, "it's the desert so I thought long sleeves might be uncomfortable"

this time the man from behind the counter piped up, "it will be very comfortable and cool. The fabric we use is very breathable and light." He placed both of the boxes up in the counter, before reaching around to get a shirt from a display. The man then handed Justin the shirt and much to Justin's surprise, it was extremely light and soft. Justin nodded and tied to hand the shirt back to the man who had bused himself with opening the two boxes.

"Here you go Sakabu-san" he man pulled out of each box a pair of black sandals, one a bit bigger then the other, and motioned for him to try them on.

As he started to slip the first shoe on, the man asked Justin which out fit he was going to get, pulling a measuring tape from underneath that counter. Justin attempted to point to the one on the page but instead lost his balance, and hopped around a few time trying to get the second shoe on. Both Kankuro and the clerk stared at him, waiting for a reply.

"I liked the one on the right" he said, pointing to the picture. The man simply nodded before coming from around the corner.

"I'm going to need you to hold out your arms" he directed, "and also stand up straight as you can."

Justin tied not to move at all as the man measured him, struggling to remain passive at the uncomfortable silence that hung around them. He decided that when he got home, that is if he ever found the cave again, he was definitely keeping what ever get-up he was about to purchase for he saw the sheer comedic potential it had. The man suddenly stopped his measuring and started to write something on a piece of paper. This piped Justin's curiosity, so he peeked over to see exactly what it was but was dismayed to find that it was in the weird scribble script that he had seen at the hospital. The clerk looked up and politely inquired " and what color would you like Sabaku-san?"

Justin thought for a moment before blurting out "umm maroon sounds great". He just wanted to kick himself for his awkwardness. _The mans just asking for a color Justin, what are you doing._

"when do you need this by?" the shopkeeper asked, writing something down on another piece of paper.

"He needs it today. As in we have to walk out of the shop with it" emphasized Kankuro.

"I am unable to fill that request, but if you where willing to mix a few colors, I'm sure I could make something work" assured the shopkeeper, gazing at Justin for his confirmation. Unsure of what to say, Justin just nodded his head. wishing that this would just end as he watched as the man scampered behind a curtain into a back room, only to reappear a few moments later with a small stack of clothes in his hands.

"All I could find was this black pair of pants" he apologized, unfolding the clothes and draping them over the counter for Justin to get a look at.

Justin picked up the pair of pants and held them against himself, discovering that they where just a bit to long.

"The length can be easily fixed"

Justin looked up at the clerk and nodded before deciding that he did like the mix of black and maroon.

"do you need to tailor them?" Justin asked, handing the pants back to the sales man.

"No" replayed the man much to Justin's surprise, " we can just skip the pants. How do you feel bout body suits?"

"uh, there okay?"

"Great, let me get a black one form the back and we can ring you up right away."

Once the man came back with the body suit, something Justin didn't think he ever be caught dead in, he started to exchange money with Kankuro, casually asking, " So, seven more outfits like this?"

"yes" said Kankuro, obviously impatient that it took so long.

The man looked up from his scribbling to stare at Justin, "and what name should I put it under?"

"Gaara." Justin didn't believe that the name came out of his mouth so naturally, much to his and Kankuro's surprise.

Once the transaction was complete, the brothers returned to the main street. Every so often, Kankuro would look over at his little brother, before finally he couldn't stand his curiosity anymore, "I thought you didn't want to be called 'Gaara'?"

The younger brother stopped and thoughtfully admitted that he didn't but that it would be easier, explaining "Justin isn't a common name here. It would be weird and I already standout too much. I guess I didn't want to add one more thing to the list"

Satisfied with his brothers answer, both of them kept walking.

Except, that reason wasn't the entire thing. Justin decided that he was going to just be Justin at his other home and that here, he would be Gaara. It seemed right to him to separate the two names, for each one represented different things. From now on, Justin would be Gaara. Gaara would be Gaara.


	6. The Monk and The Mission

**Bit of an authors note: I realized that one of the best things about this site is how the author and the readers can have a direct dialogue. So I'm going to start talking. I just want to personally thank those who have read my story, regardless if you haven't reviewed. Also, if you have any ideas of ways to improve the story, I would love to hear. You can either PM me or just review.**

* * *

It had almost been three months since Gaara had come back to Suna. At first, he was resistant to the village's way of life, but slowly he warmed up. Gaara wouldn't ever say that he was comfortable with the Kazekage, even after training with the man almost everyday he felt as if he still hardly knew him. His brother and sister however, had included him in everything they could and slowly, he started to open up to them, much to their surprise and delight.

Gaara had learned a lot about himself, perhaps more than he wanted, but at the same time questions that had nagged in his mind for years finally had been answered as well as the questions he never asked. He came to find out that the gourd was not possessed, more acutely, he was. His penchant for running was also explained because for any mission he went on with his siblings, they ran and then would run some more. That was the other thing. Gaara was first told that he was a 'shinobi', a word which didn't even exist in his vocabulary, but then after a few questions he realized that he was what he knew to be a ninja. At first he had laughed so hard that his stomach began to hurt, but at the site of his father's face, Gaara discovered that being a ninja was indeed a career choice and thus his training began. Much to his surprise, Gaara was able to do a few simple 'jutsus', one making him look like a completely different person, and a few other that were directly related to his 'specialty', or the sand. His favorite one that he had learned was called 'sand coffin' and then with a quick squeeze of his hand Gaara could turn it into a 'sand burial', and thus began his favorite training exercise of taking huge boulders and making them into small piles of dust. In truth, there wasn't much that Gaara couldn't do with his sand, it followed him everywhere. The only things he couldn't do with it usually involved water, such as doing the dishes, as he found out by trial and error and everything else was just restricted by the depth of his imagination. There were a few techniques that he was uncomfortable, just on principle, such as making a clone out of sand or making an eyeball to spy on people unnoticed. However, they where still extremely useful, the sand clones tripled his effectiveness as one could be training on throwing shuriken, another running or doing push ups, and the last could be practicing on one of his new techniques. The only draw back to this is that when he made them all disappear, along with all the knowledge they gained, he also would have about three days worth of memories and a massive headache.

This also meant that he had to carry the gourd around with him all day, a task that was daunting at first but quickly became second nature. It probably helped that he had a new way to carry it that didn't put all the weight on one shoulder. Altogether though, Gaara felt stronger than when he first came, even in the small three months. The small about of baby fat that had once deposited around his cheeks seemed to melt right off, as did any residual fat from his waist and limbs, compared to now at lest, inactive lifestyle. With each sunset, when he finally arrived back at the house after a mission or tanning, Gaara was tried, sore, and most of all, hungry. He never thought that he would every be able to eat that much in his life without gaining ton of weight. This was definitely his favorite perk of being a ninja.

Still, even with all of this, Gaara couldn't help but miss his other family, the Tuners, and his friends. He didn't really have any friends here either, seeing as most where scared of him. The only ones who where 'brave' enough to talk to him was a girl named Matsuri and one of Temari and Kankuro's old friends, Haru. But if he was being honest with himself, they still were hesitant around him, not that he blamed them.

One of the things that both his siblings and his father didn't mention was how much the others in the village where afraid of him. At first when he asked, they would give vague answers until one day he demanded the truth and to his horror he got the truth. Worst of all, he didn't even remember any of the things that he did. His siblings were also hesitant to talk about their mother, and when he tried to talk to his father about it, the man grew quiet and changed the subject quickly. Gaara also found out that he used to have an uncle who had 'died on a mission', although there was a sneaking suspicion that that wasn't entirely correct.

With all of this information, the entire three months had ended up being exhausting, both mentally, emotionally, and physically. He didn't think it was going to get easier any time soon either, which was unfortunate because he hadn't gotten any sleep. Ever. In fact, when he brought up the worrisome fact to his father and requested some sleeping pills, something that he used in the other world, the man looked at him like Gaara was crazy to even think about sleeping. Turns out, Gaara didn't even need to sleep, making his time in Suna start to seem like one long day with small breaks in the middle. He got tired yes, but not sleepy, a weird distinction that didn't previously occur. Much to his astonishment, the only thing that seemed to be effected was the circles around his eyes, which steadily got darker, and his productivity shot through the roof.

Gaara munched on his fourth piece of toast that morning, pondering all of this. **Are you even going to tell the old man that you can hear me? **_Shut up Shukaku. _That was the only thing he decided to keep to himself, figuring that he was already weird enough, why add to the list.

"Morning Gaara!" Temari chirped slipping some toast into the toaster, "how was your night?"

Gaara pointed to his mouth which was still full of toast, and signaled for her to wait a minute. A very long and awkward minute of her staring uncomfortably at him, waiting for him to swallow.

"um, it was good" he replied buttering his fifth piece of toast, "I watched a bit of the late night television and just kinda hung around. How was your sleep?"

"Uneventful" she responded. This conversation was almost ritual for them, a scripted connection that said so much with so few words. Then, like every morning so far, Kankuro made his way down stairs and started to make himself breakfast groggily.

"What time did he want us to be there?" Gaara asked, making his words as nondescript as possible. He still hadn't gotten a name yet and he wasn't going to ask.

"Baki wanted us to be at the training grounds at seven-thirty, but Father wanted us to be at the Kazekage building at nine for another mission," clarified Temari with her head in the fridge looking for something to eat. Gaara nodded and resumed eating, wondering what kind of mission they would be assigned today. The past ones that he taken were c-ranks, no doubt this one would be too, that escorted merchants to the border of wind country or something like that. It was a bit disillusioning to Gaara at first, who had imagined that he would be fighting bad guys or sneaking into enemy territory, but he was quickly placated by the money he got from each one. Still, he hoped that the next few would be more advanced, ones where he could finally test his new skills against an opponent.

* * *

The man in front of Gaara seemed to be somewhat important, judging by the way that the councilmen had treated him, something which seemed to included a lot of head bowing. He didn't seem that special to Gaara though. With a mundane look and the simple clothes he wore, Gaara figured that he was probably just another merchant or maybe a representative from a different village. He didn't even seem to be a shinobi due to lack of a weapon or weapon pouch.

"Monk-san, this is team five" introduced his father, pointing to his siblings and him, " they will be the ones escorting you to the border."

The man politely nodded to the team, silent.

**So, this man's a monk? I remember my times as a monk, oh the girls that would come knocking on my-** _Shut up please, I'm trying to listen._

"-The mission should have few hazards yes?"

"Maybe only a few bandits, but not much else" asserted the monk.

"This will be the cost of a c-rank mission, " continued The Kazekage, writing something down on a scroll in front of him, negotiating the price with the practically silent monk. Gaara continued to space out, bored by the logistics that he knew nothing about. Before he knew it, the Kazekage was addressing his team, "do you have anything you need to get?"

The team collectively shook their heads, ready to get this assignment underway and before he could registered anything, the team was already out of the gates into the sandy dunes of wind country.

* * *

It was times like these that Gaara really stared to reevaluate his career choice, not to say that he actually got to choose anything, but still. If he any word to describe the mission thus far it would be silent. They didn't even run, which may have made the time pass faster, because of the monk. Baki-sensei leading with Temari and Kankuro on the sides. Obviously Gaara followed up the rear, slightly paranoid that someone would sneak up behind him but he guessed that it was probably a good thing and that it was going to keep him alive. So, they continued on and on.

_Oh look! It's another dune! Oh look more sand! I wonder what could be ahead? Could it be more sand? _He thought sarcastically, the heat bearing down on his head. Another thing that the sand didn't do was allowed for air flow for the skin. Or sweating. Which meant that he was basically baking in a hot, sandy oven. _I just want this to be over._

It was Baki that first suggested that they take a break, and everyone agreed readily, even the monk. Thus the crew found themselves sitting on the shady side of a particularly large sand dune. The monk took off his sandals and wiggled his toes and feet, cracking and stretching them. As he put them back on though, Gaara noticed that the monk kept looking around, as if he was expecting someone to jump out at any moment. Gaara had noticed this before but chalked it up to the monk just enjoying the scenery. It also occurred to him that was an incredible stupid idea. There was no scenery around them, only sand, which only meant that the monk was expecting people. People who were lethal and out to get him.

Gaara knew that he had to have a discussion to Baki, but not arouse the suspicion of the monk. He searched his brain, trying to come up with an excuse to talk to him. He looked to his side past the monk and his siblings, trying to catch his sensei's eyes without it being to noticeable. He had heard from various friends that if you stare at someone long enough, they would look your way. However, after about a minute or two of staring at the man, Gaara proved that the theory was false. Then he got a idea so effortless and simple that he could have smacked himself. He had absolute control of the sand, why not use it to his benefit?

Concentrating like he had been taught, Gaara willed the sand the creep over to Baki, attempting not to get anyone else's attention. Baki had his hand on the ground, propping himself up on it, so Gaara took advantage of that, making the sand move to tap the top of it. What Gaara hadn't anticipated was Baki's sudden reaction to the sand. The man flinched, and it was extremely obvious. Both siblings turned to stare at him questioningly, as did the monk, but he looked more on edge than anything else.

Baki tightened his jaw and glanced over at Gaara, irritated that he made the sand move. Both the siblings turned to look at Gaara, who held a neutral face until they turned away. The monk just kept shifting his eyes in both directions, nervously. Again, Gaara made the sand tap Baki's hand, only this time the man was prepared for it. Exasperated at his student, Baki turned to say something but one look at Gaara's face told him that it wasn't a prank.

"Temari. Kankuro. You stay here with Monk-san, Gaara and I will scout ahead for a few minutes" Baki ordered, getting to a standing position. Gaara let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, and followed the sensei out of hearing range of the monk.

"What is it?" Baki asked seriously, staring at his student. Gaara looked down a little, hoping that he didn't sound stupid or excessively anxious before summoning some courage to speak his mind.

"Monk-san seems to be, um, nervous" he stated," too nervous. His eyes keep shifting back and forth as if he expects someone to pop out and kill him. I don't think that he was truthful about who might try to cross us during the mission evaluation."

Baki nodded his head thoughtfully, much to Gaara's relief, before confessing " I thought that might be the case too. I'm glad you noticed this, it means that you're becoming more aware of others body language, thus making people easier to read."

"But," Baki continued "we can't prove anything until something happens, so in reality it doesn't matter. Understood?"

"Yes sir".

* * *

By the time they stopped again, it was night. The team sat against another dune, resting their backs against the sand, which let them get a fantastic view of the stars. The monk sat down and crossed his legs, making his back rigged but letting his head drop to his chest.

"Who wants to take the first shift?" whispered Temari.

Kankuro and Baki shared glances before Baki spoke up, "I'll take the first shift, then Kankuro can and lastly you can."

"I could just take all the shifts" suggested Gaara, " I mean, it's not like I sleep anyways, so I might as well just watch and let you get your rest. Its not like I'd be doing something else anyways."

Kankuro shrugged his shoulders and proceeded to stretch out on the sand, shutting his eyes, Baki tentatively doing the same.

"Are you sure?" Temari hesitated, "just because you don't sleep shouldn't mean that you should take all the shifts."

"You're supposed to help your teammates all you can right? This is one thing that I can contribute without really doing anything." Gaara explained. Temari gave him one last look before laying down and closing her eyes. It was only a matter of minutes until everyone's breathing had steadied, and Gaara was the only one awake.

With the silence of the dark, he gazed up, watching the galaxies above him, wondering if they were the same ones that Mary and Will where looking at. Thinking of them made a huge pain shoot through his chest where his heart was and for the first time, he started to truly miss them.

* * *

The early morning light was the first thing to wake that day, but soon after the monk shifted his eyes open. He noticed Gaara sitting up and waiting. Then when curiosity got the best of him, the monk taped on Gaara's shoulder.

"Did you sleep last night?" he asked, "I thought I heard one of your teammates say that you couldn't."

"I don't sleep at all unfortunately," Gaara explained, not really wanting to talk about the subject but also not seeing a way to avoid it. The monk sat next to him, getting a good look at the sunrise.

"Do you know how to meditate?" the monk looked over at Gaara, hoping to get an answer.

"No"

"I could teach you."

Gaara looked over at him contemplating if they had time.

"I thought meditation was something to be perfected. Not like you can teach it and be done" Gaara pointed out, wondering what the man was up to.

"That part of it is true, you must perfect it on your own time, but you can learn how to start" the monk countered, still looking at the slowly rising horizon. Gaara shifted uncomfortable, aware of how close the monk sat next to him.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt," he pondered "do you think you could teach me the basics before they had to get up?"

The monk looked over at the three sleeping figures before nodding, "I could do it in five minutes or less, but it will take you a life time to perfect it."

"We have until the sun starts to show," Gaara announced to the monk, to which he replied, "then we should probably get to it."

The monk smiled at Gaara, motioning for him to sit cross-legged. He also straightened Gaara's shoulders and back but simultaneously, pushed down on them so they would relax. He then instructed Gaara to close his eyes and breath in, letting the air fill his stomach instead of his lungs. Gaara was confused at the metaphor but attempted the direction.

Gaara breathed in deep, letting the cold morning air filter through his chest, both relaxing and heightening his senses. He could here the monk's counting, the steady rhythm set for breathing and the occasional instruction that helped him relax. It was difficult at first, letting his mind not wander, but instead think of nothing. then something warm started to hit his face, and Gaara knew that the session was over. The sun was up and it was time to wake everyone. He slowly blinked his eyes open to the monk smiling at him, and out of reflex, Gaara returned it. He looked over at the sleeping forms of his siblings and sensei, but them in one motion made the sand lift them up an inch of the ground and drop them back down again. All three of them jumped and scrambled for their weapons, dazed but ready to fight, only to be greeted by a laughing monk and snickering younger brother.

"Good morning" greeted Temari through tightened teeth and jaw.

"Morning" Gaara snickered, obviously trying to hold back his laughter through a passive face. Both Kankuro and Baki where unamused, as they gathered the rest of their stuff and stretched. Baki then signaled for them to start walking, and like yesterday, they stood on all four sides of the monk.

They walked until the sun got high in the sky before anyone noticed anything, but Gaara practically being one with the sand noticed a group of people farther down the path. He had let his sand travel ahead of their team in the event that something like this happened.

"Baki-sensei," hissed Gaara "remember what we where talking about? Ahead."

The man nodded, and whipped out three kunai, holding the ends between the fingers of his right hand, ready to strike. Both Temari and Kankuro prepared their weapon of choice, Temari opening her large fan halfway, and Kankuro ready to make his puppets go to anytime. The world seemed to stop for a moment as the team surrounded the terrified monk.

The few seconds that passed seemed like hours but as predicted, the first kunai whipped though the air and burring itself into the sand, just to the left of the monk. Ahead of the team stood the first ninjas Gaara had every seen that where not from his village. The fight had begun, but Gaara didn't feel powerful or fearless facing the enemy. It was the first time that he could remember feeling absolutely terrified, and it dawned on him that he actually had to do this. He had to fight, and he had to win at all costs.

* * *

**Again, thanks for reading and if you have any questions, comments, or suggestions just PM me. Or review. Or both. Seriously, any time.**


	7. Instinct

Gaara had heard many things about fighting and yet, like many things in life, nothing can really prepare you for the real thing to the degree that experience can. There was no tunnel vision between him and the opponent, no dance between them, and certainly no mutual understanding or respect of each other.

There were three of them; two men and a women. Obviously from a different village, but since Gaara didn't recognize the headband he couldn't tell which. One of the men had a long curved sword, its shiny mental reflecting in the hot sun. The other was caring nothing, obviously he specialized in some kind ninjitsu. The girl also was weaponless, but did look like she was ready to reach for something in her pouch. Gaara shifted his eyes over to the monk for a moment, figuring how to get him out of the way first. That was one of the first things he was taught; the mission was always the most important thing.

Baki started to say something, but Gaara couldn't hear anything he said over the blood rushing in his ears. Gaara looked back over at the monk who stood there unprotected, and then in one motion, he created a sand dome over the man. For a split second, Gaara caught the eyes of the women, her brown eyes boring into his. Then in an instant, the clash of metal reverberated into his ears, like a gong announcing the beginning of the fight.

The girl that he connected eyes with pounded with speed that he had only dreamed about, kicking just to the left of him making Gaara's sand automatically deflect it. He jumped, just enough the he wasn't directly in front of the monk, but that he was also near enough to help if need be.

They did not dance. The connection between them was primal and violent. The women's smile grew increasingly sadistic as she circled Gaara and the sand dome with Gaara dodging every one of her attacks but making no effort to retaliate. The ninja fingering her pouch for something that Gaara couldn't quite make out. He wasn't sure what to do exactly, and foolishly waited for her to make the first move.

In a flash, the ninja had thrown multiple long senbon at the sand dome, making it look like a pin-cushion. His eyes widened, not actually expecting anything to be able to pierce his sand.

"Gaara!" a voice from behind him shouted, " what are you doing? Crush her!"

He knew he had no time to act, but the thought of actually crushing another human being made his pause for a few seconds giving the women just time enough to react. She quickly pushed her hands together, making a sign that he was unfamiliar with. Before, Gaara could even blink a terrible scream erupted from the dome. Hurriedly, he undid the dome. Before the dome could even completely disincarnate, Gaara got to gaze at the horror inside. The senbon had lengthened at the women command, piercing not only the limbs and stomach of the monk, but also lodged one in his eye socket and threw the other side, as well as one through his throat, and various other places. The man looked around wildly, pleading for someone to help him. Both everyone ceased their fighting to stare at the dying man who had obviously been the object of this fight, only looking over to their opponent occasionally to make sure they hadn't moved.

Gaara remembered the movies he used to go to with his older brother Will, the ones where the bad guys would get shot and then instantly, they would collapse and die or the horror movies with so much gore that both of the brothers used to laugh. The scene in front of him was exactly like those movies, only the man wouldn't die. He just fell to the ground, struggling to take a breath while choking on his own blood.

Gaara thrust his hands forward, commanding the sand to rush at the women. She saw the sand coming to late, and was instantly scooped up by the rough grains into a death grip. Gaara could still feel her moving and her heart beat through the tiny grains.

Something animalistic pulsed through Gaara's veins, like a poison or a fever, at the sight of the dying man. The smell of the blood made him feel nauseous, and a screaming inside his head started.** I want blood! Kill them all my child, slaughter them like the pigs they are. ** But even in his rage, he felt natural, something that at another time would have sickened him but during this fight it just nourished his frenzy. Instinctual Gaara became one with his sand , not really thinking, just doing whatever felt effortless and letting it rub against her in his grasp, cutting her skin little by little.

"Sand coffin" the sand started to tighten around her as Gaara could feel her heat beat faster through the sand. He could feel every breath and every pulse of her blood. It was dangerously intoxicating, something he had never experienced but at the same time was ingrained into his very nature. The back of his mind began to cheered him on, as adrenaline pumped through his body, making him start to smile.

"Sand Burial"

The blood spattered everywhere and Gaara's smile grew into a laugh as he joined the voice's cackling glee. He turned to the other enemy ninja, who hands where trembling. He took turns staring into their wide eyes before lifting his arms up again, dancing his signature dance.

"Sand coffin" the screams got louder in his ears, but he couldn't see anything anymore.

"Sand Burial!"

The screaming got louder in his head, pounding against his skull, forcing him to his knees. He clutched his head in his hands , practically tearing his hair out due to the pain that seemed to explode, creating black spots in his vision, until that's all there was.

By the time that Gaara had finally come to, the sun was already leaving the sky in a brilliant palette of pinks, reds, and purples . it seemed that he had been dragged to a nearby bolder and propped up against it, while the rest of the team took care of the monk, or what was left of him. His eyes slowly blinked open, and for a moment , was very confused at why he was there.

"What happened?" Gaara asked, looking around at the carnage that lay before the team. Neither Kankuro nor Temari said a word or even looked at him.

"You killed them, Gaara. The mission is done now." Baki stated looking him in the eye. Gaara ran his hands through his hair, tugging at the strands and pulling the ends.

He couldn't help it. Gaara turned away from the man and pushed past Baki to gain some privacy behind another sand dune, vomiting what was left of the morning's breakfast until nothing but watery, acidic fluid came out.

"Are we heading out?" he heard Temari ask quietly. A few shuffles of footsteps meant that she had walked over with Kankuro and where awaiting their commanders orders.

"Yes, just give your brother a second and well start to go"

"I don't understand why he's throwing up," Kankuro stated nonchalantly "it's not like he hasn't killed anyone before. Back when he was five he used to kill more people for dinner on any given day than this"

Gaara unfortunately heard this, not that he'd tell anyone, but that still didn't mean that the words didn't hurt. In fact they dove deeper than he thought they would, not only making a twinge in his chest but also a lump in his throat and a sick swirling motion in his stomach. He really just wanted this to be over.

Shakily, he spit out the rest of the acidic juices from his mouth and began to walk over to the rest of the team, shouldering his gourd. When they where all assembled together, the team started to make their way back to Sunagakure, twisting through the dunes in silence.

It all had happened so fast, something Gaara hadn't expected it to . It seemed to him as if one minute they where just leaving the village and here not a day later, they where trudging back. It was almost funny, the idea that so much could change and happen in a day. The mission had failed, big time, and it was his fault. Gaara started to run through all the possible 'what ifs' and 'what I should have done's of the fight. If only he'd been quicker or paid attention to the monk more or killed the women first instead of hesitating.

Gaara found it utterly humiliating that he couldn't just kill the kunoichi. He once believed that killing was wrong in any circumstance, but the past few months had changed his view on just about everything, not only to adjust to his new life, but just gain some sanity. It was simple, almost too easy to justify the slaughter in the defense that they would have killed him had he not retaliated first. It was to protect his team. It was to protect his village and the mission. It was because he had to. So many reasons that had been drilled into his head. He was starting to scare himself, not because he had killed, but because he was okay with it, and even maybe enjoyed it. He told himself it was nothing but the voice's doing, except he couldn't blame it all on the demon. He had enjoyed the rush. That's what sickened him.

The way back to Suna was exactly like the path they had taken out, only with one less person and a lot more silence, something he didn't even think was possible. Niether Temari nor Kankuro had said anything to him, nor had they met his gaze for more than a few seconds.

It was Baki who started the talking first, casually asking about Kankuro's plans for his puppets, which let into Kankuro explaining in great detail the exact modifications that he was going to make to 'crow'. This also led to Temari snarky commenting on his puppets as 'dolls', which in turn led to him insulting her lack of femininity and saying that why she could never date anyone.

Gaara watched in fascination at their fight, not because of the fight itself which really was a very normal occurrence, but that both had suddenly changed from a somber composure to Temari chasing her brother around the dunes , fan over her head ready to strike. Gaara really couldn't help himself as he started to laugh at their antics, and was pleased to see that even his sensei gave a small smile accompanied by a snort.

-The kazekage tower-

"So, the mission was a failure?"

Gaara stood in front of his father as Baki gave the mission report. The man looked less than pleased at the outcome of the assignment but to Gaara, the man looked less than pleased about everything so it was hard to tell. It also didn't help that he was wearing the full dress robe complete with a veil that covered his face except for his eyes. Both Temari and Kankuro stared at the wall ahead of them , not meeting anyone's gaze.

"And what happened to the other shinobi?" their leader asked, clearly uninterested.

"Dead."

"How?"

"Gaara used his sand to perform sand burial on all of them after the monk died."

Gaara's gaze shifted to the back wall too, not wanting to meet his father's eyes even though he could feel them staring.

"Is this true?"

Gaara shifted from his right foot to his left, he eyes still trained on the back wall, "yes."

The Kazekage stretched back in his chair, hands folded over his chest. He stared at Gaara some more, brown eyes boring hole into his skull. the man was obviously frustrated, realizing that even though many years had passed he was stuck in the same situation again. He really needed to change something or next thing he'd know the drunkards of the village would be smashed and the council would be down his throat. Subaku no Takeshi really had no clue what to do at this point and he could feel the flash back coming already.

"You may leave" he drawled, leaning forward in his chair to write something on a scroll laid out in front of him. The entire team turned quickly to exit, Baki being the first to the door.

"Gaara", called the older man.

_Shit, what did I do this time. _The youngest Subaku turned around again, not able to even get a step near the door. The man didn't look up for his paper work, and Gaara wasn't about to start the conversation. He even felt a little sorry for the secretary in the corner, who looked downright uncomfortable as she kept trying to sneak peeks at the patriarch of the Subaku household and his son.

"It is becoming more and more evident that you need more specialized training. You will meet me at six at training ground eight, bring not only your gourd but also any other weapons you own. Pack yourself a lunch and possible a dinner." The Kazekage directed, still focused on the paper in front of him. Gaara didn't move a muscle.

"You're dismissed", the tired eyes met Gaara's for a split second before returning to the scroll, but even in that brief look, Gaara could already see the disappointment in the man's eyes. He hated disappointment.

Gaara flopped on his bed face down, burying his head into the pillow and letting his body completely relax. His room was stuffy and uncomfortable from basically baking in the heat for the past two days, but this also meant that his bed was already warm. It was so tempting just to crawl under the sheets for the next six hours, regardless of how he couldn't even sleep. He just needed to think. He also needed a shower. Badly.

Inwardly groaning, Gaara pushed himself up and started to trudge to his bathroom, shredding his clothes. One thing that he hadn't gotten used to were the short Suna showers, where you had to be in and out under five minutes. The first time that he had taken a shower, about six minutes into it, he had Kankuro banging on the door telling him to get out. This of course meant he hopped out, hastily wrapped a towel around himself not even bothering to towel off the shampoo in his hair, and almost ripped off the door. This was definitely one of the more embarrassing hurdles he had to climb here. That and the small beard he grew accidentally (how was he to know that the sand wouldn't let him use a razor?)

He didn't even notice the time go by during his shower and before he knew it, he had discarded his towel and slipped between the bed sheets.

To say that Gaara was nervous about the next mornings 'specialty tranning' would not cover the arranger of emotions he was currently reeling through right now. The whole idea of training with his _father _made his stomach turn. Even after living with the man for three months, he hardly knew anything about him, and it was not to any fault of his own. The Subaku patriarch was seldom home and the only true interaction they had been during the early morning for breakfast, and the interaction was usually a polite 'good morning' and 'could you pass the butter'. He had been the one to direct him to Baki-sensei but never really had any hand in Gaara's training. This did make Gaara wonder just how bad he screwed up.

Gaara buried his head deeper under his sheets and clutched the sheets around him tighter. He was just so exhausted. He didn't want to think or remember anything for just a few minutes. Gaara watched as the room got darker and darker, and with it came the moon. The full moon to be exact which meant that he was going to spend the next six hours tuning out the demon that like to blabble in his head.

Only, it was just babble back at his other home. The first full moon that he had spent in Suna had been draining. The demon had turned up the sound to a loud scream, and pounded against the seal. His whole head throbbed and pain spread through his body like someone was repeatedly throwing him against a concert wall. If it weren't so painful, Gaara probably would have made jokes about transforming into a werewolf. 

Tonight was no different, and as the moon started to rise in the sky, the screams started up in his head. Gaara really hated full moons.


	8. Training or Torture

**AN: Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait, life got busy with stuff. anyways, enjoy and I would really appreciate any feedback or ideas. Feel free to PM me too.**

* * *

Gaara could still feel his heart beat through his chest that next morning. The night before was much like other full moons, painful and exhausting. He laid in his bed staring up at the ceiling trying to focus his heavy breathing which was currently coming out in strangled grasps for air. He attempted to move into a seated position, but only got as far as on an elbow. He felt gross too. His body was dripping in sweat, so much that it soaked through his clothes and into his sheet. Shutting his eyes tight, he pushed through a head ache and forced himself to get out of bed into the shower. Gaara knew that it was going to be a long day .

* * *

By the time that he had reached the training grounds that morning, the sky had already turned pink and the air started to warm up a bit and was starting to push the sand around in little cyclones around his feet.  
"Gaara" a deep voice intoned, making him turn to address the speaker. The Kazekage was not wearing his formal dress robes that, to be honest, reminded Gaara of a dress but instead was clothed in a matching black top and pants with nothing but a holster around his hips complete with a frown on his face. The man looked as cross as his arms.  
"Set your gourd aside" he ordered, "You might also want to take off your jacket."  
Unwilling to question him, Gaara briskly walked to the edge of the training ground to deposit his gourd and jacket on the ground, only to turn around and see the Kazekage had walked into the middle of the training ground and was drawing a circle around himself.  
Gaara returned to him but stood on the edge of the circle.  
"I'm taking the day off from my official duties" the older Subaku turned to stare into Gaara's eyes and continued, " it has come to my attention that you, even with intense training these past few months, are still lacking in many areas. I will be overseeing your training today. What ever I ask, you will do with out question or comment. There will be no lagging and you will give every breath into everything I have you do. Am I clear?"  
Gaara nodded solemnly only to be taking back by the older man's gaze.  
"I can't hear you."  
"Yes, sir"  
"Good. Run around the perimeter of the grounds until I have you do something else."

Gaara didn't know how many times he had run around the training grounds, but now it was probably past ten, due to the morning sun beating down on his back and the sweat dripping off his face. Also because his legs where starting to become numb to the fire that ran through his muscles.  
"Stop and give me three hundred push-ups and after that, five hundred sit-ups. Then I want you to hold a plank for as long as I say. Understood?"  
"Yes sir" Gaara wheezed out, dropping to the ground. He could feel his muscles shaking with every push and again with the sit ups. When the plank came, he honestly didn't know if he could hold it do to the shaking that traveled up his arm. He saw a pair of black sandals step in front of him as the Kazekage started to speak.  
"I don't know what kind of life you had in the other world and I don't care. You are soft and weak, neither qualities that you or your team need. I don't care how long it takes, but I will train it out of you. You are soft both physically and mentally, and that needs to stop if you are going to be of any use."  
Gaara could feel his hands getting numb and the sand starting to grate against the skin of his palms.  
"I don't care if I have to make you run until you puke, you will not let what happened on that mission every happen again."  
He started to feel his back pinch and his toes start to slip on the sand.  
"Control. You will have control. Absolute control."

The sun had almost left the sky when Gaara was finally allowed to stop running. The Kazekage looked bored, which Gaara could understand considering he had mainly stood around all day barking orders, arms crossed and a scowl on his face that grew deeper with every passing hour. Gaara's legs where shaking but he willed himself to keep standing.  
"Get your gourd."  
Like the other demands, Gaara scrambled as quick as he could to retrieve it, trying not to appear drained as he struggled to sling the weapon on his back. It was heavier than expected and it made him think of the first time he tried to move it. When he turned back around, his father had his hand in a pouch that was wrapped around his hip. Gaara looked unexpectedly at the man as he walked forward.  
" Stand in this circle" the older man commanded, "you are going to fight me with everything you have but you must stay in the circle."  
"What happens if I step out of the circle?" Gaara blurted before he could stop himself. His father gave him a stern look, but continued with a very vague "you won't step out side of the circle."  
The men traded places with each other, Gaara still unsure of what they were doing. Then in a flash a wave of something sparkly started to rush at him which seemed simple enough, all Gaara had to do was use his sand to block it. He raised his hand to create a wall of sand but as the other material came near it was small enough to infuse itself with his sand. To his horror, Gaara's sand started to become hard to control and sluggish, as if someone had dunked it in water. Every move suddenly became difficult and the Kazekage's attacks where getting faster, slowly starting to push his toward the end line of the circle. Gaara had to find a way to separate his sand from whatever material the Kazekage had just used.  
Gaara started to swirl the sand clock wise around himself, making his movement predictable. He could feel the wind whipping around him as the mini cyclone of sand and mystery material started to go faster. Then, once Gaara determined that there was enough centrifugal force to keep the other material moving in the clock wise circle, Gaara shot his sand outward toward the Kazekage.  
His plan didn't work as well as he thought it would. The sand was still hard to control as it broke out of the circle and it didn't quite meet its goal of surrounding the older man. They continued like this for what seemed like hours, Gaara trying to maneuver his sand but the Kazekage slowing it down. Twisting and whirling about them, neither of the men moved their feet and only focused on where the sand was.  
Gaara started to struggle with his concentration and the sand was still slowing down even more. He ignored all the aches that seemed to turn his muscles into fire. He ignored the back of his throat which felt like the middle of the desert he stood in. He ignored the spasms in his stomach to where telling him to eat. He needed control and this was how he was going to get it, even if it took days or months.  
"Enough!" The Kazekage shouted over the roar of sand. In one motion, all of Gaara's sand fell to the ground as if it where stone. Both of them were gasping for air and Gaara could feel the sweat start to dampen the sand that covered his body.  
"What is that stuff?" Gaara asked, kneeling to the ground and scouting up a handful.  
"Gold dust" the Kazekage answered casually. Gaara stopped for a moment to look at him not quite sure if he had just heard right.  
"Gold dust?"  
"Yes."  
For second, Gaara stared at the gold dust and sand mixture in his hand before, much to his horror, to desire to laugh started up. He did everything he could to not let if out but Gaara found it much more funny now that he wasn't supposed to laugh. First it was a silent huffing which turned into a stifled snicker but before he knew it, Gaara found himself doubled over howling with laughter. He looked up at his father who was confused and displeased that he found this funny, which made it worse to the point where there wasn't sound coming out but his stomach hurt more then when he had done hundreds of sit-ups.  
"How is this funny?" snipped the older man, offended at his youngest son's laughter.  
Gaara started to say something but as soon as he took another look at his father's face, he broke down again and could barely make coherent words or point.  
"It's not, it's not" ensured Gaara, although he knew that it was unconvincing. Exasperated, the Kazekage turned around and started to walk out of the training ground and Gaara, after finally figuring out that the hellish day was over, quickly trailed after him. But as he walked down the dusty Main Street it became clear to him that he wasn't going home. Both of them rounded the corner of the steps into the Kazekage building and began to whine themselves into the lower, concrete walls of the underground levels.  
The Kazekage building had three underground levels, none of which Gaara could ever say that he had been to. The Closest level to the top was a long line of concrete rooms used for 'increased interrogations' and the like, the second closest level to the ground was used to house those who would be interrogated. The last room was full of cabinets which where in turn full of file on everything and everything that Suna had knowledge on. The older man lead Gaara toa steel door on the second to last floor, heavily locked and Gaara guessed it wasn't for looks or intimidation.  
"Stay here until I come back with the key", the older Sabaku warned, looked a bit uneasy but left him down there anyways to go do something upstairs.  
Gaara looked around at the doors around him. All of them were looked exactly like the one he was staring at, steel, heavily locked and menacing. The part of this whole thing that really shook him to his core where the sounds. Gaara always thought of himself a well-balanced person who was truly scared by few things, but this was testing his limits. There were groans coming from some doors, hissing and spitting sounds from others, and lastly the cries and screams that were coming from a door two down from his. Gaara wasn't stupid or naïve about what went on down here, but it didn't mean he liked it. He was unsure of exactly how long he waited there, it could have been ten minutes but it felt like an hour, before his father got back with a shinobi trailing behind him.  
"This is the door", the Kazekage gestured, "and it's prisoner two-five-eight, correct?"  
The other shinobi nodded and pulled out a key to unlock the door, stealing a sideways glance at Gaara before sliding the door open.  
At first there appeared to be nothing in the black room, but then a small shuffling in the middle of it alerted him that someone was there. The Kazekage stepped head of him and he followed suit and the door shut behind them. For the first few moments there was nothing but black, then a small click sounded and on turned a dim overhead lamp the was attached to the ceiling, creating a spotlight and showering the person in the middle but leaving the rest shadowy.  
There was a limp and sickly man sitting in the middle of the room, and it was obvious that he had been there for sometime due to the rank smell that clung to his clothes and hair. He was sitting cross-legged with his arms above his head, their wrists gripped by chains that were fixated in the ceiling, a dirty rag tied across his eyes to prevent him for seeing his captors faces.  
With every step that either one of the men took, the prisoner flinched a bit and his face steeled.  
"Do you know what we're doing here Gaara?" The Kazekage whispered into his ear from behind him, obviously keeping prisoner two-five-eight in the dark. Gaara shook his head tentatively, his eyes still glued to the man in front of him. The Kazekage continued talking, "Gaara, you're too soft, your team and this country cannot afford that. This prisoner will be part of your training. Two rules before we begin; you are only allowed to use your sand, and you are not to kill him till I say so. Break these rules and.." the older man trailed off, his warning clearly made.

"This man is no longer that, Gaara" lectured the Kazekage, "he is no longer he but it. It is our enemy, our prisoner. It has information that we need for this village to not only thrive but conquer."

He could hear the older man's instructions and his hands where moving with them, commanding the sand as if it were a hell-hound. His hands were hot and shaky but he felt everything, the pulse of blood and when it spilled he could even taste it in his mouth. Screams sounded muted, like he was surrounded by water. All he could here was the rustling of sand and a voice in his ears that started out as his biological father's but then turned darker.

Shukaku was back and louder than ever. The power was addicting and as more and more of it pushed his way into his chakra system, the more he seemed to slip away. He needed blood. He needed blood _now._ Lost in a swirl of sand, blood, laughter, and screams, Gaara took what he wanted and then some. Always needing blood.

It wasn't until the sand started to slow down that he started to truly see what he was capable of, what was lying on the floor. Hands still in the chains, only the partial remains of a human where left; skin, muscle, and everything else physically grated from the bone. He looked around for the Kazekage, but only found a man who was horrified with this monster he created. Disgusted, the man left and shut the door behind him, leaving only Gaara and the reality of his buried, inhuman self. He was a monster.

* * *

Both Kankuro and Temari were sitting at the kitchen table by the time that he came home the next evening, their chopsticks half buried in a bowl of white rice as some unidentifiable meat. They were oblivious to his entrance, still engaged in a conversation that seemed important till he set his gourd down making both of them jump.  
"Hey man! What's going on?" Kankuro asked uncharacteristically. Gaara just stared at him, still not comprehending all that had happened in the last 36 hours.

"What are we having for dinner?" Gaara asked distantly, his voice soft and lifeless. Both siblings shared a look before Temari shuffled over in her seat, making more room on her side of the table for him to sit down. It was almost as if he wasn't quite comprehending what was going on around him.

Temari started to tell him what they were having for dinner but it was clear that he wasn't processing it. So she fell silent, unable to help him other than to spoon some of the dinner into his bowl and place it in front of him.

Gaara picked up his chopsticks and started to pick at his food, moving it around in the bowl with small clanks. he attempted to pick up some of his food but it just fell through back into the bowl except for a single grain of white rice that stuck between the wooden sticks. Gaara examined it a bit too carefully before setting his chopsticks down.

A small "excuse me" was uttered before Gaara pushed himself away from the table and exited quietly, leaving worried glances in his wake.


	9. Moving On

If anyone in his family met him now, he knew that they would be shocked by the practical one-eighty. Gaara may not have lived here all his life, but in the short time he did he had almost assumed a new identity. Almost four moths had gone by since the 'training session' and the aftermath of it had made an impact. He was not timid anymore or afraid during the missions that he was assigned. His opponents were nothing more than empty faces now, and it was his job to make them bend to his will. On the field he was ruthless and devoid of any thought except completing the mission. Off the field he was also changing. He had grown a bit lonely and found that it was hard to make friends. Except for a girl named Matsuri and any of the friends that Kankuro hung out with, Gaara didn't really know anyone. Even, with Kankuro's friends though, it was clear that he didn't really belong. Not because they shunned him or only were polite because he was Kankuro's brother, but because he didn't get any of the jokes or references that they made. He hadn't seen any of the movies that they had talked about nor did he understand the inside joke that seemed hilarious to everyone but him. Still, he smiled and pretended to go along with it and with that he had grown quieter.

Gaara had taken to watching the movies that Kankuro's friends (he didn't consider them his) talked about in hopes of catching some of the references or understanding why they were funny, but after the fourth one that he had watched it was clear that it was just going to take some time to understand the humor.

The girl named Matsuri however, was someone he'd more call an acquaintance, even though it was pretty clear she wanted more than that. It wasn't that he didn't think she was a good person, it was just a huge cultural difference between what he called dating and what she called dating. He had noticed that after every date his brother went on, his wallet was practically empty and the girl basically clinged on in a childish manner, something the Matsuri already had proven capable of through her use of an extra high voice and the way she tried to seem cute and innocent by acting like she was seven. Gaara didn't want to date a seven year old.

His relationship with his sibling had gotten closer though, and he now had some inside jokes with them which felt good. It was almost like with Will and Sara, only different in a way that he couldn't put his finger on. The ate together most days and often did menial things like shopping for food or any other necessities.

Temari was at first glance a cold person, but as Gaara got closer to her it became evident that with the people she was good friends with she was anything but. In the family, her role seemed to almost be motherly, constantly looking out for her brothers. In private, she was warm and reached out to him, which at first he thought might have been just because she had too. Now he knew better. Kankuro on the other hand seemed loud and brash, almost impersonal but as you go to know him he was quieter more thoughtful. Maybe neither of them were ready to have any big heart-to-hearts but in the small moments they had gotten close.

Still, there where subjects that where left untouched, mostly anything about their mother. He brought her up at the table once, hopping that maybe Kankuro or Temari could tell him a bit about her. Kankuro shrugged and said that he didn't know her and couldn't remember her. She had died when he was young and he had been brought up by a series on nannies and then later, private teachers. Temari on the other hand looked thoughtful, and recalled what she looked like down to the way her perfumed smelled. The kitchen got eerily quite after that, and Gaara never asked again. Another subject that was never talked about was Gaara's old life, back when he was Justin. It seemed like they just wanted to forget the time he had spent away from their family, and now it seemed like he wanted to forget it too. The ache in his stomach that seemed to have permanently been there during the first few months now had subsided into more of a nostalgic feeling and nothing more. On one of his solo missions, Gaara had tried to find the cave on his way back but after two hours of searching, it was a moot point. His relatively happy childhood with the Tunner's wasn't something he wanted to talk to his siblings about, who childhood seemed to have been less than pleasant and his other family was certainly out of the question. The one time he mentioned his dad around the dinner table, he saw how much it hurt the Kazekage, whose jaw merely tightened and whose eyes refused to meet with his the rest of the dinner. He hopped they didn't think that the Tunner's where a replacement but he'd really never know how they felt. So he pushed his old family out of his head and focused on the one he had in front of him, after all he mused, 'the grass was always greener where you watered it'.

With all this though, there were some things that he was understanding. Gaara had particularly taken interest in learning all he could about the economy and politics of Suna, seeing the web of trade and treaties and how it effected the village. Between listening to Temari and Kankuro argue about certain topics such as water and how the village was going to meet the citizens demand and unwittingly eavesdropping on the councils meetings before or after missions, he was starting to formulate a few opinions on things even if he never said anything.

"They're making cuts to the puppet corps again!", Kankuro ranted as the two brothers where picking up some produce from the local market, "I just don't understand how they keep expecting everyone to create new techniques when the money we have to fund these projects keeps being ripped from our hands!"

Gaara nodded thoughtfully but said nothing. He was still a foreigner and his opinion wasn't relevant in most cases.

Kankuro continued on his soapbox, passionately defending his view against an imaginary naysayer.

"You want more antidote research? I'll give them a damn ani-" "Kankuro, you're going to squish that tomato" Gaara pointed out as a scared merchant shrunk away from the tomato-wielding puppet master who had his hand wrapped around the fruit so tight it was starting to bulge. The eldest brother seemed to calm down enough to put the fruit in the bag with the others and sheepishly paid the man.

"It's just so frustrating!" Kankuro griped shoving his hands in his pockets, leaving Gaara to carry all the groceries. They walked in silence, Kankuro still fuming and Gaara following behind him.

* * *

The Kazekage thumbed through the scrolls in front of him while Gaara and his siblings waited with a few other teams. The room was fairly quiet, except for the young genins who where whispering to each other. There where men directly in front of the desk, looking expectantly, and Gaara guessed they were foreign diplomats from surrounding villages by their formal robes and the Kazekage's ever-increasing frown, as he continued to look through their proposals.

"Gaara-sama?" Whispered a high voice behind him. Gaara turned around to see the girl Matsuri, and forced a small smile. _Jesus, someone save me. _He raised the skin where his eyebrows would have been, attempting to look like he cared. He could feel Kankuro snicker beside him but chose to ignore it. Gaara knew that he shouldn't reinforce her behavior, but he didn't see a more polite option.

"How was your mission?"_ Oh god, she's making small talk now._

Gaara nodded slightly and turned his attention back to the scene at hand, hoping that she'd get the hint. She didn't. Matsuri just kept looking at him, expecting him to reply, through the twenty or so minutes they stood their waiting. Kankuro could barley contain his laughter, not that Matsuri could tell. Her team was called before him, so once Gaara saw her walk out with the rest of her team mates, he finally let go of a breath that he didn't know he was holding.

"Team ten", called the Kazekage. His team stepped forward, Kankuro gave a small report, highlighting the major parts of the mission, before they where dismissed.

"God, I'm so hungry" Temari announced, "we should go out for dinner to that dango stand that opened up just of of the Main Street."

"Oh, I love that place!"

Gaara nearly jumped out of his skin. Matsuri was standing behind the team, obviously waiting to get a moment of privacy with the youngest sibling. Something he was never going to let happen, but Kankuro on the other hand had something else planned.

"You've already been there?" He asked gleefully, "Hey, why don't you show Gaara the new place? I mean he's never seen it because he's new, right Gaara?" Kankuro nudged him, wiggling his eyebrows up and down.

"Right," Gaara admitted through a tight smile, secretly planning how he was going to get out of this one.

"oh, I'll go with you Gaara-sama!" Matsuri beamed, take a slightly terror-stricken Gaara by the elbow and practically dragging him off. Gaara was definitely going to get his brother back somehow.

* * *

"I don't understand why they assign us border-patrol when they could have just given it to some newbie chunnins" grumbled Kankuro to his siblings. They where standing still at the border of the land of wind and the land of rivers.

"Because I'm one of the 'newbie chunnins' Kankuro" Gaara chided, his face set in a frown at the reminder of his status. Truth be told, Gaara didn't know if he was a chunnin; he didn't even know if was officially a shinobi seeing as he didn't have to pass any tests. When he had first gotten his headband, it had been tossed lazily to him after his father had confirmed that he could use his sand effectively. A bit unceremonious, but he wasn't going to complain. It didn't really seem to matter, he was sent on whatever level mission the Kazekage deemed fit. Gaara himself didn't even understand how the missions where classified. He had thought that maybe there was a uniform standard or some sort of qualifications that decided if it was an A-rank or a D-rank.

"Kankuro, how are missions ranked? Is it just random or is there some sort of formula?"

Kankuro furrowed his brow a bit before explaining that "mission ranks are based on risk."

"Like as in risking the likelihood of mission failing to how much it's going to pay?"

Kankuro shook his head, "No, as in the likelihood of combat, injury and death. Most genins take missions that wouldn't require any combat such as chasing cats or babysitting, so mostly d-rank and the occasional c-rank. Chunnins usually take c-ranks to b-ranks and jonin usually take b-ranks and above."

"okay" Gaara nodded, "but what make a mission a B-rank as a posed to an A-rank?"

"C-ranks are low body risk and require no combat. C and B-rank require combat, and with b-ranks it's usually against other shinobi. A-ranks are mostly diplomacy missions or guarding important people."

"What about s-rank?"

"Undercover work mostly or high profile assassinations."

"Have you ever been on an s-rank?" Gaara asked, curious about his experiences. Kankuro shifted his body to look out the other direction and fidgeted with the straps on his back, a clear sign that Gaara had touched a nerve.

"I didn't really know it was an s-rank until I was right in the middle of it, and had no option of backing out", Kankuro started "both Temari and I thought we where just going to the chunnin exams in Konoha, but it wasn't really that."

"wasn't that the failed invasion that happened around four years ago? I remember someone talking about it" mused the younger sibling awkwardly.

"Yup, Suna and some other villages we had allied with decided to go to the chunnin exams as a guise, and then attacked when they didn't expect it. Whole element of surprise kinda thing. As you probably heard, it didn't exactly go as plan. We basically go t our asses kicked so hard I'm pretty sure the first Kazekage felt it."

"I'm guessing that's why we don't have a good relationship with Konoha?"

"Yup. To be honest, I don't think anyone thought it was a good idea except for the council . Suna's always been troubled economically, but expectantly after the failed invasion."

"What was the plan anyways? Seal all their gold or something?"

"Naw, we where supposed to destroy the village to the point where traders and merchants would no longer do business with them, also with cutting their shinobi population by more than half. Again, it was a terrible idea to start with and really a ditch effort to gain something for the village. During that time we hadn't cut the programs at all so we had a lot of money going out and basically nothing going in. Also, we didn't account for the leaf ninja to be so strong. No one was prepared for what happened."

"Did anything good come from it?"

"No. both sides lost people and any trust we had between the two villages was destroyed. Even Temari and I lost a teammate."

Gaara turned to look at his brother and tried to offer his condolences, but was waved away by Kankuro who stated, "Hiro was a dumb-ass anyways, and it was a miracle that he survived that long. Dude got himself killed three minutes into the invasion by enemy ninja. He was, how do I put this? Not the sharpest kunai in the pouch."

"What where they like?"

"what where who like?

"The leaf ninja?"

"Oh, uh, interesting I guess. Usually, shinobi are taught not to get attached to team mates but apparently, that what their teaching in their classrooms nowadays. It worked for them though. They had some weird ninja too. Probably the most un-ninja-like ninja I have ever met was this blonde kid that was taking his exams. The gods must have like him a helluva lot for all the luck he had. I kid you not, he wore a bright orange jumpsuit and was always going on about his 'ninja way' or something. Anyways, oh and there was a kid named Sasuke Uchiha, who despite being a fantastic ninja, was so full of shit I'm surprised he hadn't died of sepsis yet. Too bad for Konoha that he abandoned them for sound."

Gaara ran through his mental list of villages that Suna was allied with, "wait, are we still allied with them?"

"Hell no" Kankuro scoffed, "why would you think that?"

Gaara stared at him, and Kankuro quickly realized his mistake.

"Haha, oops, I forgot. The leader of sound tied to kill Kazekage-sama when they finally go back to allied ground. Guy was such a slime ball, but what do you expect from someone who looked like his mother had fucked a snake instead of his father eh?"

Both brothers chuckled a bit before settling into a comfortable silence.

"do you think that our villages will ever be allied again?" inquired Gaara, turning to look at his older brother.

"Probably not. People don't just forgive stuff like that, nor do they ever really forget."

* * *

"Ma'am, its been months and we've exhausted all of our leads. If he was going to show up it would have happened by now." the head deputy looked at Mrs. Tunner from the opposite side of his desk, hands folded in front of him. Mrs. Tunner looked down into her lap and fiddled with the tissue she had been given.

"Deputy Walker, it's just that the window of finding him grows smaller and smaller everyday and-"Mr. Tunner began until she was taken over by silent sobs. The police man pushed a box of Kleenex towards her and waited patiently.

"Mrs. Tunner, with all due respect, there really isn't anything we can do" he started again, "We followed every procedure there is and nothing turned up. The car was clearly parked right by ocean and-"

"But he didn't go near the ocean," Mrs. Tunner interrupted, "There were no footprints! You said so yourself, and he couldn't have dro-"

The mother tried to finish her sentence but couldn't get a word out of her throat, which kept tightening every time she tried to speak.

"And the pool of water in that cave the dogs found! There was a set of foot prints near the waters edge but none going away! How do you explain that sir?" She criticized, her eyes staring directly into the deputy's.

"Ma'am, we had divers swim to the bottom of that pool and there was nothing. The most logical explanation is-"

"YOU DON'T HAVE A 'LOGICAL EXPLANATION'!" Mrs..Tunner shouted angrily. "MY SON HAS DISAPPERED AND YOU DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. YOU AND EVERY ONE OF YOUR OFFICERS HAVE GIVEN UP!"

"Mrs. Tunner! Your son had a mental breakdown. To be honest, you'll be lucky if you find him in an institution in five years whacked out on coke."

"How dare you-"

"I've dealt with situations like this Mrs. Tunner, and your son is no different despite what you may feel. Look, we have no real explanation for this. Your son has vanished with no clues. I'm sorry, but there really isn't anything that we can do."

"People just don't disappear Deputy."

Deputy Walker took off his had to and ran both of his hands through his short hair before folding them in front of his lips.

"Your son did though, and everyone is stumped. I never seen a disappearance like this. There is nothing. The trail just ends. I don't know how to say this any clearer but we have no idea where he could have gone."

"Are you saying that I should just give up hope?"

"no, I would never say that " the deputy reached across the desk and laid his hand over Mrs. Tunner's. She looked at him but he couldn't meet her eye.

"I'm just suggesting for your own sanity, that you move on."

With that, the mother recoiled her hand and pushed herself away from the deputy, before standing up to leave.

* * *

Often, when everyone was asleep, Gaara would curl up into a chair in the large study and flip through the photo album he had found. When he found it hidden in one of the shelves that lined the walls, tucked in between dull historical records. It was obvious that his father wanted to forget about it and his siblings probably didn't even know that it existed.

At first, he had hoped that it might bring back some of the memories that he had lost, but as he flipped through the pages it was clear that nothing stood out to him. It was interesting though, seeing pictures of his parents when they where young and newly married, not to mention the photos of baby Temari, Kankuro and after some searching, himself. Often when he had looked at the Tunner's it was easy to see the similarities in facial structure or the same color of eyes, a luxury that Gaara never thought he would have. Now, as he stared at the photos in front of him, it was almost too easy to see the similarities. By now he had basically memorized every page in the book, flipping through it only because he wished to find something more about his mother, something he had maybe overlooked. So far though, there had been nothing.


End file.
